Tuesday, May 31, 2005
I am back and ready to kick some ass!
Broadband rocks! sick of dialup!

Anyway back to buisness! I am ready to deal with ms for the face value....no confusion! I am going to start this a fresh!

Dave:6th 3"
wieght:13 stone
Pains(currently): Right leg lower calf right hand side fleels like fire/burning, right thigh:same sensation. Left foot:Numb but stronger than right,fingers:numb and lost corodination in right hand (spot the mistake time!) left hand better, Upper body: feels like I am wearing a bra of pain...well not pain exactly more like irratation, lower body:got controll of bowls by eating more fruit and cod liver oil tablets! Back pain! lower, Mri scan at diagnosis showed infection there in spine!
Mental condition:understandable by own account! Feel like an older man with plently of knowledge but unsure of how to use it!
Romantic attachments:......tba!

Eyes:blueish green

On to the diary bit....spent past 2 weeks in mental angwish, smoked too much, drank too much and generally had a good time! I am now fully set up in my house..my house! wow, I have been trying to get this for the past 2 years! About the same time....she logged on to love@lycos.co .uk. Yes ....she has been looking for a love partner. I wondered where all the paranoia was coming from! Working away from home gives you plenty of access to date others!I hope you read this and dont take this to your next failed relationship! Trust goes both ways and if you LIE you will only create hatred with other people....just look at my familys impression of you! They could tell too! They didnt say anything to me as they could see I LOVED YOU! Hope life gets better for both of us! Good luck on the raising money for charity! It just turns the knife for me that its for ms and your walking it!!!!

Now its me....just me and ms! prepair for a kicking ms!

Hope everyone is better than me! Hatred is the worst feeling in the world!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 4:14 pm   2 comments
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
I am in but not fully...
on dial up at the mo and missing the broadband. got activation date as the second of june. Sorted out all bills.
Water, Gas,Electric, and all taxes!
thats it, on my own.....got hospital visit on the 8th. Going to parents for the weekend to drink more beer so looking forward to that! Started growing a beard(goatee!) as it is easier to maintain. Did the 1st shopping trip....got pizza milk pop ciggs and pain in legs is driving me nuts! Had to get taxi back as I couldnt walk it! getting over Sinead pretty fast but I still want to know if she is ok.....last thing I rember her saying to me was "I am going to a festival" nothing like rubbing it in mate! Mind you as lh suggested there are other women out there, I might have to shave off the beard first! I will update as soon as Iget BB.
Take care of each other and any suggestions for meeting new lover...
dave
posted by personallog! @ 3:05 pm   3 comments
Thursday, May 19, 2005
....this is where it gets really hard
I have spent this week on my own! I have done 1 and 1/2 days at work and my internet will be down untill they can set up bb in the new flat!
I have got a few questions on my mind, these are a lot more aparent since I have been off work by myself and not speaking to anyone as sinead is away with with work!
Its mostly what if's.. I am not going to list them here as too tired and need to get some sleep! I am going to watch the last starwars tomorrow and my last oppertunity to speak to sinead will be tonight. Will I ever fine the right woman? Do I want to find a new women? No is the answer to both questions! I will report in , in a week or so when internet is up and working take care of yourselves.

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 5:17 pm   3 comments
Monday, May 16, 2005
song of the day
Future Proof by Massive Attack

ooooh what a tune! I wonder what I have been smoking! No pain, Dont mind crap telly, Love Music havent got a care in the world! I wonder what the long time effects are.....they can be any worse than what the big man upstairs for me! I dont even miss Sinead......I guess you lie better then!

No premoting just smoking!

Down sides to smoking canabis....you will never win an argument again...but will you care....no!
I have a fuzzy head...please look two days back! I would rather cause it to myself than have it happen to me!
and last but not least the room is full of smoke and...smelling nice! IT IS ILLEGAL! I must remind you that I am not a doctor!
No ms ache. its nice untill you have to move anywhere....getting chocolate going to find sweets....this is what the munchies are then! No more spacity untill I wake from the depths!
Take you own opinon to this update just thought someone had to say somthing!
Please leave your opinon I value your feedback!
Dave
P.s My boss suggested it too me, so did my ms nurse, so did my GP. Tried and tested!


posted by personallog! @ 6:09 pm   4 comments
Sunday, May 15, 2005
This is where I start again!
No going back now! Its just me on my own! Now is the time for my fight to really start! If your a regular here to this blog you might see me being more angry than previouse posts! No more mr nice guy! Watch out ms I going to get my life and you are taking the back burner. Kiss my ass ms!
posted by personallog! @ 5:40 pm   2 comments
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Head fuzziness rocks!
Well its the weekend and I have one week to go until I move....Err scared!
I have already sorted out a phone line and the first billing...1 down and several to go. I have asked the phone company to send the disks for BB and I am looking forward to the move. Family are coming down in force and they are helping me move. Got to sort a couple of basic thing out. I have a washing machine and a coffee machine too...Still loads to sort but the worry of being on my own is worrying.

There is 1 thing what happens when the relapse comes and I cant move for 4 days? Ok I can speak to people on the phone but everyone is going to be at least 45 mins away! Is this a good idea or not?
Yeah damb right it is! Not worrying about relationship crap is going free up so much mental power you wont believe it! No more tears! No more worrying about....Shit I am going to be lonely! No more snoring tho! (sorry Sinead but sleep for me is important and if you want to complain just leave a note, It would be nice to see you leaving a note now that you are an individual)

Oh and the fuzzyness... right I have found that after walking to the shops and getting food shopping (its not far!) my head gets a bit ....fuzzy! I know its being tired but there is a slight head ache. Its frontal lobe, maybe its the sunshine or something. Or a hangover or something!

hope everyone is ok. take care!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 2:21 pm   3 comments
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
what a woman!!!!
Well well well look at this I knew she was a good woman I told you so!

http://www.justgiving.com/pages/?pid=190237

Still doing the walk to raise money for the ms society! You go girl! Great opertunity for you to meet new and old people in stange suroundings! Be carfull in Dartmoor!
I told you all she was great! I guess I am the good friend mentioned on the link!
Please feel free to donate money to her walk! There is some great people doing this!

Thanks again for all the good times!

hope everyone is going well!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 8:36 pm   0 comments
Monday, May 09, 2005
Found a flat.....
Date to move house 21st of may! Flat is 2nd floor.....I know! Need to sort out bills and stuff but it works out that I will be better off than staying with Sinead! I don't know how I worked that out. Every time I Wright it down I come out with more money at the end of the month!!! Some thing wrong with that!?!?!?!?

Well more money for beer and travel to work. Might even save some money to!I know! My god favors the infirm! Maybe he/she feels sorry for me now(every time I say this a relapse hits, you just watch this space!) maybe I deserve a break.

Spent last week at parents house getting drunk every night! Even went to the pub. Met a couple of lovely ladies who I took pleasure in hiding my stick from! Its all down hill from here on in!

I will be off line for a bit until I sort out the broad band for the new place but please don't forget to visit just in case I get access from the local library.
posted by personallog! @ 11:55 am   0 comments
Friday, May 06, 2005
Life gets hard from time to time....
Hello all, I have spent the last week with my family arranging different things for a new flat on my own!
My family think I am mad for still living in Manchester but are happy with my discussion for independance!

Havent spoken to Sinead all week. I feel like there is somthing missing! I can do this on my own but have to deal with it in a different way! Its a hard life and it can only get better! The going out drinking thing to meet new women should be a laugh! Good luck Sinead I wish you well in every thing you choose to do and thankyou for raising money for charity!

Now to concentrate on myself!

Hope everyone is ok!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 3:50 pm   2 comments
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Well, well well!
Hello all,
Getting bored of doing nothing this week so I thought I better check in with you all. Sorry I have not been in touch with a lot of you but if you read back a couple of days you would understand.

Broken up with Sinead, Have to get new job sorted out, have to move to a new place and got to make some money soon.....Just to pay for the beer! This blog will get more intense I am sure just got to get the internet sorted in a new place on my own.
This week has been great so far, Just seem to be on route to drinking my own weight in beer so far. Well it gets rid of the pain of break up! 5 years down the swanny and nothing to show for it......sorry I wont be going down this path.

The blog is my diary after all.

So lets do this right....bring on the beer Depression needs company!

Hope your all ok and I will pop in to your blogs soon I just have a few things to do!
posted by personallog! @ 12:04 pm   2 comments
ms....not just a diary
About Me

Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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