Thursday, June 30, 2005
find your own solution!
when ever you are sad order some music!

Got 2 CDs through the post over the last couple of days! Both fantastic and neede to day!

1: Mylo:Destroy Rock & Roll
2: Heman Cattaneo: The Masters series


OOOOHHHH what tunes! life Line recieved! Still off work and planning to go in tomorrow! Seen ms nurse and asked for help, She gave me a telephone number to call about benifts and the next step! I will let you know!
posted by personallog! @ 11:51 am   2 comments
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
e-motions?!?!?!?!?
No prepaired for this at all! Seemed like a good idea to do the hole single thing and living on my own....I dont know weather I can do it!

Being here is fine, having my own place...cool! Should I be doing it, I dont really know! I have to get into work and do so much stuff just to live and survive! If I was not ill it would be fine! But because I am ill....its so much harder!

Its a rollercoaster of e-motions, something goes well and I am over the moon! Something goes bad and I just want a cuddle! I am no longer the man I used to be! Iam just being honest! You have ms and your pretty f*cked! Mobility and every thing is going to go! The need to find someone is increased...Do I have the right or balls to place this on anyone else! No... Pick yourself up and get on with it while you can! Sorry not being very upbeat but I think you have to be prepaired for that too! We all die at the end...its how you live your life that makes you a man...or the real person your suposed to be! I have to get from one day to the next and be happy!
Emotions...can live with them...cant live without them!

I need some sex!Alot of sex!....ok I need a holiday!
I will be happy one day.....honest!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 10:00 pm   3 comments
Well well well!
ms head on today! Missed out yesturday from work and sent home today as must look bad! Had strange convestion with boss and girl called Emma! Emma has cronic authritus! and has been in the same boat as me for a while now! Not been at work for a bit due to mobility problems...ok the conditions are different but the time spent at work, for both of us is slim, We talked about retirement and being signed off on the sick! After convers contacted the ms nurse straight away! Got appoingtment on thursday with her!

The questions:
do I want to retire?
Could I get enough money to servive on my own?
Do I relise What that means to a social life?(.....er yeah!)

Hmmmmmm TBC Very soon!

Anyway how bad do I feel now? I had a great weekend but feel a bit sad after reading your blogs!

Camile....forgot a day! My god how much did you drink? :)

Look I will finish this later got food cooking!

Keep well!

P.s Got next blue smurf day on wednesday 31st August.....hmmm sh*t! Feel sick allready!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 12:36 pm   0 comments
Monday, June 27, 2005
what a weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!
who'd of thought it! A festival of people with only 1 thought in mind....getting pissed! I think the next update will be done on wednesday! What a hangover!!!!!!!!!

I wont forget it for the rest of my life! Even going to the toilet introduced me to a new woman! hmmm Kelly! lovely! I want more! Beer, Lying on the grass with a beer, Watching the flying gussett from the ladies(forward roll competion in short skirts!!!!!) hmmmm!

Cheers guys for making me go! Same next year? I will tell you more when I can type again!

Very Happy Dave
I want more!
posted by personallog! @ 7:02 pm   4 comments
Friday, June 24, 2005
tunes!!!!!!!!!
Most listened to tune of the day and for the weekend!

Funky, deep and tribal :Mixed by Hernan Cattaneo

there are some great tunes on there and that guy can mmmmmmmmiiiixxxx!!!!

just getting in the mood for the weekend! Clubbing!!!!!!!!!!

Sh*t Hot!!!


Much better now!
posted by personallog! @ 12:24 pm   0 comments
errrrrr!
Right I think I am going to leave! Not in a 'littlest hobo' type way! I need some time to think about what I am going to do for the rest of my life! I dont think I can stay in the same area as my ex! I am hurting from that anyway! The reminders are there all the time! I do need to work and earn money( I dont want to leave the job I am in,to many honeys!) But somthing needs to happen! something good, something soon!

Going away for the weekend, that may help! Missing out on the pagent thing too! Shame!
Sorry just feeling low!

Hope everyone else is ok!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 9:14 am   2 comments
Thursday, June 23, 2005
right I am up!
I have a need to get out the house and see people! I have been down the stairs twice! 1st for the post1
2nd time to take rubbish out!
Both times I stopped at the bottom of the path and looked longingly towards the shops!
I need milk! I took a big gulp of the milk in my fridge and promptly through up! I have no milk in the house and its getting on my nerves! I want Coffee and I am going to throw a hissy fit if I dont get it!!!!!

On a good note got my green ms wrist band in the post! Like we need another reminder! I know its for charity so I will wear with pride! Got one for sinead as well...fasion is her thing and I know she has others! That is if she wants it!

God so tired and my hips hurt like I have been dancing all night or I have been buggered with a baseball bat!
posted by personallog! @ 3:29 pm   1 comments
Day off again!
Woke up this morning and my hip has been in great pain! Don't know what is going on but it really hurts! I think I will spend today just chilling out and hope fully it will be ok for the weekend! I am going to get a bath and then skin up and chill!

It feels dislocated....its not but it really hurts!
Have a better day than me
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 9:28 am   3 comments
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
400,000 people in the United States and more than 2.5 million worldwide
You guys are knackered! Check this out:


400.000 people in the US!!!! God save us! coz Bush wont! How come the western world has not done anything?? Come on... that us man!(sorry weed is obviously is a bad thing, hippy complex is coming through!)
If you add what the US has got to the Russans and then to Britain We could occupy a small country! We wouldnt get very far....wouldnt be able to servive by are selves....(not quiet right there!) but with all the walking sticks and wheelchairs we have I am sure countries would be scared by the zombie kids!!!

Arrrr come on at least you laughed!

Did about an hour off a full day today! Tired and really want my Xbox to start playing DVD'S again! I think it has ms too! It needs to cut back on its smoking too!
Still smiling but must be really smelly as she hasnt rung me yet....good on ye girl its about time you had a life!
Keep well all!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 4:02 pm   2 comments
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Thought at end of longest day!
I want to die happy! With a smile and not screaming for all eternity! how can I do it.....dont ask me!
posted by personallog! @ 8:56 pm   0 comments
from the longest day of the year.....
its the hippy day at stone henge! I went to work with the intension to do it again....and here I am after a half day! You have got to respect ms! Or it bites you in the ass! roll on tommorrow thats one day closer to the weekend! I did have something else today but I forgot what it was...(hmm camile!)
Stay well and rest lots!
Time for a reefer I think!
http://www.newswire.ca/en/releases/archive/June2005/20/c3538.html
somthing star-y fo ppms....
http://www.send2press.com/newswire/2005-06-0620-003.shtml
posted by personallog! @ 2:27 pm   1 comments
Monday, June 20, 2005
the early morning thought for the day
All I want is someone i can trust....someone I can love .....someone I can rely on!
posted by personallog! @ 11:03 pm   0 comments
Sh*t sandwich today! or 8 steps to sleep!
well more like a multi stacker sandwich!
1st.....done a full day at work!
2nd....bought milk
3rd...Got a quarter 1 bonus from work.....dont know how or why!
4th trip home was a nighmare! back spasm had me bent at 45 degree's for walk from tram stop to my house
5th got to crawl up stairs to front room 4 flights of stairs
6th....no saw me do the crawl!
7th ...got invite to get drunk at weekend....cheers pocket punk!
8th got home put pc on and now got an urge to go clubbing for the next local Lisa lashes gig!

Hard house rocks! Need to listen to more music more oftern!(still need to unpack my massive....cd collection!)....could I right my own???? TBA!

Hope all is well in the land of the living!

P.s got my first female interset today....i let you know how it goes...if it does!
posted by personallog! @ 5:01 pm   0 comments
Sunday, June 19, 2005
update from kim!
Toronto, Canada (LifeNews.com) -- Researchers in Canada have produced that country's first embryonic stem cell lines, though some scientists say those involved are overstating their claims as to the kind of cures that could come from the unproven research. A senior scientist at Mount Sinai Hospital developed the two lines.
Dr. Andras Nagy said he hoped the new lines "will ultimately bring Canada and the world closer to treating or curing diseases such as Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's Disease, Alzheimer's Disease, Diabetes and spinal cord injuries."

ooh!
look at this.

or:

for bone marow

there is allways liquinimod....reduced illness or side effects could be worth asking the nero!:
here


sombody listen to this its hell when it gets hot!
posted by personallog! @ 8:16 pm   4 comments
Summer storms!
I am in the thirds floor flat...the top of the building. Its so hot here its unbelievable....then it happened............Thunder and lighting!!! Rain is beating down on the windows. Flashing in the skies is affecting my eyes with random eye twiching! All I can think of is the past and have I enjoyed it while I was here!

Good times....Yes
bad times......Yes
Did I sleep with as many people as I wanted too......No!
Would I be able to go into a relationship again without putting ms on someone new......No!

So that means I will have to be truthful to the next woman, if she bolts then its tuff! That sucks! Should I have spent more energy into the last one......dont go there! I cant really ask Sinead for a feedback form for how did I do!
I need to here some peoples views on this before I start logging on to relationship sites which means i have to get body parts out or something! (personal emails will be excepted and will recieve one back.... vix! lol)
What is the next step, I mean come on, with someone with ms it could be in any direction!

Maybe I need to get a list up and running or somthing! the wants of a single bloke with ms! Maybe later in the month! To hot and sweaty need a bath again for the 3 time today!....still missing her like mad....need to spend time with other people....not in the same state as me now! In my pants is so impolite!

any idea's people!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 3:15 pm   1 comments
too hot!
its too hot and I want a way to cool down. The heat is getting to the spaz effect and I have found the only way to fight it is to be sit down in my pants! Not an attractive sight but rather funny all the same! It makes me think about Goa and how to deal with it!

god knows how but it wont put me off!
Any tips anybody!

a Hot Dave
posted by personallog! @ 12:24 pm   2 comments
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Dont worry you have the right Place
just changed a few this so it easier to read for everyone! Hope you like!
posted by personallog! @ 1:52 pm   3 comments
1st weekend by myself?!?!?!?
Well its saturday morning and I am doing things for me.... Not to be seen in a bad way! Its just I would do things with other people in mind and now anything I do is for me and I dont think its familiar ground for me!
it nothing strange its just strange for me! I have allways lived with someone in the same place.
Growing up....6 people in house
Teenager ....lived with mates Even when I had a place on my own last time there was allways somone round.....Now tho....just me! Weird!

Feeling a bit better today! eyes are fine, back still has a shooting pain when I move to much..so I am not! Been looking through photo's from my sis Wedding! Sister looks great in wedding dress! Me and sinead photo looks great....we looked happy....both of us! oh well!

listening too: Nitin Sawhney-Homelands (very dancey type jazz thing.....cool man!)

hope you are all ok

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 1:32 pm   1 comments
Friday, June 17, 2005
eye sight sorted now it time for my back!
bad back, having a collection of spaz that really hurts. just down right side back and across the lower ribs! ouch!
Eyes turned out fine! just needed to clean the lenses! but back really hurts!

Bad Day for pain, will hit aspirin soon!
posted by personallog! @ 1:51 pm   0 comments
Thursday, June 16, 2005
only done 1 day this week and my eye sight is a bit
messed up! I have a finger print over my sight and I am abit fazed by it! I must say I had 2 conacts in my left hand eye! I have taken it out now and I susspect I have 2 in the right eye too! It didnt feel like I had any in this morning...no drinking or somking has been done....honest!

I have rested a bit but my eyes are red and I think I will go to docs this week! Still happy and will update later in week soon!
dave
posted by personallog! @ 7:59 pm   1 comments
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
do your bit and wear a wristband!
Yeah details from vix pix web page! Please go to this link and buy a wrist band for msrc!

You know its a gimmic but the more people who know the money can be raised...and its only £1.50!

Go on you know you want one!

Cheers guys

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 6:36 pm   0 comments
Interesting news....
please see:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/drugs/Story/0,2763,1504201,00.html

this is from saturdays guardian....guess I have to do more surfing to find if I can get on future trails!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 7:39 am   2 comments
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
growing dislike for U2!!!!
i useually like u2 and there ever changing music trends....but tonight! I was on route for doing a full days work, infact it got to 16:00 and legs just given up! I did have an out of body head at 11:00 and just got over it. Then the legs went! I planed to take a taxi from work to home and ordered one...2 hours later the taxi turns up! delayed by traffic for the concert! If I was stat at my desk it would have been a full days work!!! But traffic back home was delayed too! 30 mins delay for 45k people trying to get to the gig I got home allmost in tears with pain! Got a visit for the physio tomorrow too!

Damb! At least Vix cam and left a note! I bet she is here for the gig too! I was so close to ringing sinead.....not her place!

hope every body is better than me!
Dave....getting a beer!
posted by personallog! @ 8:52 pm   1 comments
Monday, June 13, 2005
she has joined the ranks!!!
please visit http://tits-out.blogspot.com/

Vix has raised loads of cash for msrc and I am sure she would love to see loads of ms'ers and what they are doing to raise cash.please leave a good wishes note and hopefully we can get to know her! Welcome Vix!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 10:06 pm   2 comments
Saturday, June 11, 2005
the weekend
spent some time with both groups of grand parents so far...entertaining and worrying! The tendancy is to talk about illness when it comes to the older generation but there has been talk about Goa in India for a holiday! I will have to contact my gp for further advise as I dont know weather the smurf blood will react well with injections you get for travel to india! Have to also make sure that it doesnt overlap with the quarterly in jection too!

I have seen Sinead this week....she did mention going to Goa with her friend in november! Granda also said november so I worried for a bit as I dont want to put her out if we met up there! Will have to speak to her when I can sort out a date! Got to save some money too! My parents have sujested Febuary next year for my birthday which is kind of cool...30 in India

Ihave felt really bad this weekend and I dont think I will be at work on monday....this is very annoying! I hope everyone is ok out there and I wish you all well!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 1:16 pm   2 comments
Friday, June 10, 2005
hmm!
Feeling a bit better today....will be going to work on monday! Still feeling waves of nausea but I will be going out for fresh air today! Got to air the flat out while I am out...two days of me in my pants is too much for any man,woman or animal! Got to pick some milk up!

Oh dont need to! Going to my mums this weekend family BBQ! MEEEEEEAAAAT!
Wont be having much beer tho!(lol!!)
posted by personallog! @ 10:42 am   3 comments
Thursday, June 09, 2005
just watched to goodbye scene for ross and rachel
.....its a killer! I am thinking of retirement! Saying goodbye to manchester! Two bad things after you spend the day on your own in pain! I have a fridge full of beer and I dont want to drink them....how do you contemplate retirement or giving somthing up compleatly! I dont think its right to think that me and sinead are the ross and rachel of of this time in my life! But allways had the thought that we would get back together or somthing!
I....dont know where my head is at the moment! I hope I dont go through this for much longer or I will have to do another blog! I think I have to take this one step at a time!

Oh for god sake dave sort your head out or shut the f*ck up!
posted by personallog! @ 10:42 pm   0 comments
This is bad....
I have been up all night with sickness, nothing produced just the sickness feeling! Been watching a load of friends(series 9/10!) and its helping me learn how to get over sinead! bizar!
The one when Phobe breaks up with her partner....oh dont judge! Give me a break! I am sick and need sleep! Day off work I think! Hope this gets better soon, not to much food in the house!

Hope you lot feel better than me!
posted by personallog! @ 7:08 am   3 comments
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
cant wash off the hospital smell, hospital smell!
Just got in the door from recieving the blue doom injection!
1st....feel like somones trying to inflate me from the inside!
2nd...still have ms!
3 Eaten somthing before the sickness hits...yes mum I have taken the anti puke tablets...I have spare to cover the next 36 hours!

Good news received from the Dr Mottershed! He says my body can take this abuse for 6 more doses....every 3 months! so well into next year......come on have justgot out of hospital you work it out! He says I will have to go onto rebif or somthing! Steriods! think I remember hearing from Erik's blog! Right its over and done for 3 more months! I feel like I want to vom but I think I will be ok! Bring on the benifits to this sad time! Hope you all feeling better than me!
Dave!

Oh yeah ....tune of the day is taken from the MTV unplugged album.
...Sherly Crow:Strong enough
posted by personallog! @ 3:24 pm   0 comments
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Sick day again...bad sh*t!
bad legs and nervouse antisipation of tomorrow! I have said it before and I will say it again "this is a pain in the ass!" I dont know wheather I can do this on my own! Weather passes! Here is too the next rainy day! Blue days seems quiet apt! Eric Clapton-Tears in heaven(tear jurker every time you git!)Page and Plant -Gallows post! todays tunes!
posted by personallog! @ 3:13 pm   3 comments
Monday, June 06, 2005
1st day this week and had to come home with ...
leg ache...lower legs real hurt! Burning pain! My body heat is not being human, thats for sure! I have just remembered the smurf blood is coming in 2 days....I havent even thought...how the hell am I going to get there! TAXI!

Going to relax a bit....hope you are all well!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 1:37 pm   0 comments
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Well I have a solution...via good advise
Thanks dad!

The advise from my dad has got me up and running(just an expression!). Its how you value the moment that makes life worth living! It doesnt cure but it makes life worth living!

I received my first shopping trip from a local supermarket who delivered it to my kitchen!
Beer in the fridge by internet! that rocks! Slowly filling up the freezer with good food! Got all my vitamins, fruit(which is a big bonus at the mo!) and Cooked meals! When I received it I was over the moon! God knows how but I think I can do this! Appreciated the moment!

I got a mail from a friend yesturday who advise she has ms and doctors have reported she will retain 80% of her mobility! Her friend and family are happy with the results but she is upset with them and the feedback she is getting from them. Well....80% is better than nothing! I sort of see where she is coming from being upset! From a personal point of view, yes it could be better. I think every 10% that is removed by this disease you should improve yourself in other ways to beat it back!
For example: Diagnosed with ms...decided to learn new things and work towards a degree!

Get the idea?
Sinead is walking now!
hope everyone is ok! love life!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 10:27 am   4 comments
Friday, June 03, 2005
Break ups suck!
I am not doing the break up thing again! Why! Why! Why is it so hard? Its better we have separate lives....But I don't have to like it! I think I am ready for something....Strippers or something! No that wont do it! I need something! Any Suggestions? Anyone! Beer!
posted by personallog! @ 8:32 pm   0 comments
2 days at work in last 2 weeks!!
something to aim for next week! I think it was stress more than the ms! When to see doc and he said you have been through alot in past fortnight try and take a break! Manage fatigue dont put to much pressure on yourself! So I went home did some pressups ,sit ups and some leg work! Passed out and woke up following day! I think I learn my lesson now! Well this week I have got a setee, made it with the aid of my brother my dad and a friend. Thanks guys I couldnt do it without you!
I have placed my first home delivered shopping trip which arrives tomorrow morning, I just hope they bring it up to my flat!(please tesco!) I am going to get drunk now as it is friday!
Sinead is doing the walk this weekend and I think she has got over a grand as she wish to raise....good on yeah girl!
posted by personallog! @ 3:55 pm   0 comments
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
http://www.expertpatients.nhs.uk/index.shtml
Link above Was sent to me from a friend called tracy, she lives in the same area as my Mam and Dad. It has proven to be a great sorce of information for moving from....well take a look!

http://www.expertpatients.nhs.uk/index.shtml
posted by personallog! @ 7:17 am   0 comments
ms....not just a diary
About Me

Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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