Monday, October 31, 2005
Right lets get back to buisness!

Dave and his massive weapon!hehe!

Lets explane the title of yesterdays update! Goth heaven....oh yes! I went round Glasgow with the aid of a bobbeh walking stick(cheers guy!) and every where you looked there was a rock chick! Beutifull made up women! Eye makeup is so important!hehe! We had to stop off for lunch in a pub(group choice!) and we got served by a beautifull goth lady! I had to open up some sort of conversation just so she would hang round for a bit!ha! She told us about some clubs we should visit and about the 'scene' and clubs in the area! I could have listened to her speak for hours! Its the rolling of the 'RRRR' that makes the acent so sexy!....anyway!

I think this might have influenced my choice in cd buying:

System of the down:Toxcity
Rage Against the Machine:Renegades
Red Hot Chili Pepers:Californication

Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think now directed and controlled anger can produce something good! I want to shimmy shimmy till the break of dawn Yeah!(cheers system of the down!)

Oh and a little Jazz from Jamie Cullum to calm me down!hehe! I had a great time but I think I might have drank too much....well at some points anyway:

Not the best pic, but the only time I have ever passed out from drinking too much! I am so getting you 2 back!

Hope you are all ok(and not as tired as me!hehe!)


Just picked this up from google:

Clearest explanatation I have read in a while!(back to buisness!)
posted by personallog! @ 10:21 am   0 comments
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Scotland rocks! Goth heaven!

What a week it was! I am so glad to be back in the flat too! I have missed blogging so much! I didnt think I would but I have loads to tell you all! The pic's was taken on the banks of Lock Lomond. It was a beautifull day.

One of many great days! I had 1 bad day...but I think it had something to do with the breakfast beer!(hehe!) I am so glad I have two great mates like Em and Bobbeh. I felt like I was letting them down abit when I was tired and groggy but they turned me round on a couple of things. I dont want to go to much into detail as I am really tired as just got back! I will update later in the week when rested...

Just a note to add tho! I went to a record shop(1st time in a year!) and went wild! 6 cd's from the sale section and it has opened another route for music tastes to blosom!
I will tell you honest...but today I am listening to:
Jamie Cullum:Catching tails

Great to be back guys!
posted by personallog! @ 6:43 pm   6 comments
Friday, October 21, 2005
I knew I was pushing myself too much yesterday!
Not even a half day! Oh well!

Just check the donations page like I do every day an its standing at £! Thankyou everyone! Thanks mum and dad for the 50!

I am having a wierd day today! I am looking forward to going on holiday tomorrow and yes I am going to spend the time I have today to pack! But I am still feeling the ms burn in my legs. I can usually block the pain to a certain degree by concetrating on on the good things! Not today tho! I just feel numb...well mentally I mean! I feel like I am achieving a goal every second! I am still very possitive about the jump and the holiday! Something is missing tho! I dont have somone to celebrate the success with. I think I am taking about a partner! Friends and family do a great job when I see them or talk to them, I love evyone of them but maybe thats the problem.I couldnt do it without them,I need to focus the love on somone! I think I want some body here! Not a flat mate before its suggested, but I think I ready to look for that....I dont want to say it but....that special woman! Does that make sence? Sorry for sounding crap but this blog is a collection of my thoughts too!

The maddness of Dave eh!

This is going to be my last update for a week so I need to get somethings out my system before I take the weeks break! Sinead is going to Goa this week and I wish I was going too but rather glad I am not for the over heating situation! Have a good time! If you still read this!

I think I might have upset Jen aswell last night! Thats maybe why I am sad today!(dont ask please!) I think I want to tell you all to look after each other and keep your chin up! We will get through this together!

I will try and bring you some good shots from scotland(if it stops raining!hehe) but I am going to miss this!

Hope you all well!

Music for you to check out while I am away....

The green alubum
The middle of Nowhere
The alltogether
Orbital II

Please do check these guy's out they mean alot to me!
The essence of the dancing Dave!
posted by personallog! @ 10:24 am   5 comments
Thursday, October 20, 2005
08:15 and ready for work!
have taken copaxone and have sick notes for time off even had breakfast and smell great! Time to get into work and raise some cash! A taxi to work me thinks!hehe!
Not much report today apart from starting the day with abit of:

Biffy Clyro:My recovery Injection

A good scotish band! Roll on the holiday! Scotland here I come! I will update at end of day today! Have a good day!


Right been to work and did a full day! You would have been so proud of me today! Went round work...put up Balloons handed out sponsership forms,made the "I am so glad I can fight this disease!" speach to a fellow worker! Councilled a team manager on how to deal with her dads ms! Put up posters in the lift to all floors,went to every notice board in the call centre and advertised the websight for the jump donations, raised awareness of ms at work as a whole!

I had a top day raising money and I havent jumped out the plane yet! I have made an old friend aware of how he can do it too! And how you ask.....all because I was getting constant sexual promises from Jen!hehe

But I am knackered now! chilling out to tunes and I think I will have a bottle of red to celebrate! If only I could get a ciggar I would have the prefect day! 1 more full day kicking some ass then holiday!yey! I will have trouble to do a full day! I have alot of time to rest next week! Got to get a form off to human resource to pay the £ for £ scheme(£750.00)!

Hope your proud of me and you not having a bad un!
posted by personallog! @ 7:16 am   6 comments
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
This one is for Jen...

Music Video Codes by

I will let you make your own discsion on this one! I think I am doomed when it comes to choosing women. Its just the best ones are allways taken! Dont leave me high and dry! Love is such a bitch! I think I allways going for the wrong women for a reason. As soon as I find out why I will tell you, but right now I am just going to enjoy it! Jamie Cullum reminds me of better times!

Going to see the doc today to get the 'ok' for the jump!wish me luck! It has got be ok before I do it! Got to get there first! Its a bit of a walk. I need to get out the house first!

Roll on the holiday I so need it! I just want to read a book in another setting than my flat. Just going with the intension to relax and kick back! I havent had a real holiday since Goa with Sinead. Now going to kick Em's ass at chess!(yeah right!hehe)
Are you going to miss me next week? I wont have internet access in the hills of scotland...well I dont think I will anyway! We will see! I have two more updates before I go. Any requests?

Take care of each other

Just got back from the doc's and the doctor D says its fine!Yeeehhaaa! He even took a sponsership form from me to put in the waiting room! I get to do the jump! wow!
posted by personallog! @ 8:00 am   1 comments
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Now for somthing compleatly different...
I recieved this in the mail this week! I have been waiting for it for a while now! I hope it shows a different level of what my music tastes can be! Now I know to how to do it you will get more depending on my mental state!hehe! Doc has signed me off work till thursday! I will be trying to get back before my holiday next week! I just hope my legs get the idea too! Maybe slowing down a bit from metallica yesturday will help! I have just ruined 2 injections of the copaxone today.Why...because I was rushing it! 1 squirted over the floor and the second...I forgot to remove the needle cover! I was so much better just using a manual injection! I only need the auto-inject thing for the one in the back!
And one more thing:Em has a blog too! She requested to have a link put on my here it is>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
if you want to know a bit more about my friends please drop by!(I told you I would do it Em!)

Hope you are all well
posted by personallog! @ 7:54 am   3 comments
Monday, October 17, 2005
Just a thankyou to a friend who contacted me!
Hope this works! cheers for the reminder babe! keep scanning those people with the MRI! Best 15 mins of my life!(the MRI!) They dont hurt at all just lie back and think of .....england

Hope you are all well!

P.S its for my little bro too!
posted by personallog! @ 8:49 pm   0 comments
This is ground control to major Tom
Ok its a David Bowie tune but I think it is quite apt! Just finished a call to Kim and it was good to hear her voice. I know you can hear it on the podcast but it is so different to be able to speak to and be heard. Getting feedback on my blog was also good too! I have also been in touch with Amanda on msn messenger its so cool to speak to others in the same possition as me and I feel like I have do something with my blog now! I know I dont give much information on my blog about making your life any easier with ms! I just tell you how I am dealing with it! This blog is the soap opera of diaries and I am just showing my life and all the madness within it! I hope its entertainment in some way and if I raise a smile then my job is compleate! I still want to speak and chat with people so please get in touch!

I thought for a second that I could get into work today but I took one step in the flat and I just knew it wasnt going to happen. I need to get back into the routine again! If only for collecting money for the jump! I have to get in this week as next week I will be on holiday and wont have much time to get the message out there.

While I am still in a good mood I could do with more idea's for raising cash! Drop me a note and I will try and do it!
Todays Tune
David Bowie: Space oddity

Hope your all well!
posted by personallog! @ 7:08 am   0 comments
Sunday, October 16, 2005
boom boom in the bed room! lol!
Jen got the chance to meet my friends and eveyone got on, there is some music differences but it was fine. I havent been that happy for a long time! We drank like we had no tomorrow! That has to happen again soon, thats what life should be about! Drinking,listening to great music in the best of surroundings with the best people! There was even dancing from Bobbeh and Jools(sorry guys you asked for it there!) I joined in too at one point! It was great! I think everyone had a good time. Jen was well impressed with everyone there! I think I have to hold parties more offtern....we will see! Jen and myself got very close and I think at one point we were close to getting a slap for not paying attention to anyone else!hehe (if we stopped face hugging we would have been more popular!lol)

I was fine when I woke up today, I turned over and Jen was there!! I havent seen someone smile in thier sleep before! I was gob smacked and I couldnt stop smiling either! How long has it been Dave! Long!hehe She looked beutifull! That was a good as my day was going to get.

2 hours later and I was thinking how much did we drink and the hang over from hell kicked in. As soon as I thought "oh no I had vodka chasers" It started! The memory kicked in too(singing Police songs at 2 in the morning oh no!). By the way its not fun doing the copaxone injection when hung over! I have to shake it off before I goto work in the morning! I have motivation to go back now. I cant go through life without that happening again!

Dave got some! Happy Dave!

Hope you all had a good weekend!
posted by personallog! @ 3:24 pm   1 comments
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Party tonight!
I am having a party tonight and I cant wait! There is a collection of my best mates ever and they are coming to drink! Jen, Em, Bobbeh from the local crew and two others from up north! My front room is going to be packed! The kitchen celing light has gone out and I think there is something wrong with it because it flashed and when out!(boom!) Candles in the kitchen is rather gothic so the girl will feel confortable!hehe! I just know the night is going to be full of music and laughter!
This is what I live for!
I have had lots of thought about my funeral recently....I dont know why I bring it up now but there is one tune I want played live by someone!

Its an Alice Donut track called:Tiny ulgy world! You can hear it from there websight if you wish! It just sounds right for me I think! Sorry to think of the down side to whats happening but we all die in the end why not plan for it now while I am good and can still type....anyway the websight is Its a track from the Mule album track 10 I think! It would have to be played live! I will be more possitive in future on honest! It just needs to be said while I I am so possitive about the jump and everything that is going on in my life at the moment! I am so happy and I have every thing to look forward to! I think its getting older thing and not a feeling down thing.

Still waiting for calls from you guys by the way!
Smile and I hope your all ok

oooh another website for muic:Cinematic Orchestra
Just in case you want to hear it! my favorite Jazz stuff...just for a balance you relise!hehe!
posted by personallog! @ 1:42 pm   0 comments
Friday, October 14, 2005
fancy talking to me for free?
Ok people I might be drunk but my big brother (localhost)has found a download which means you can talk through your pc for free using a microphone 'for free'! The statement of my blog that says i want to talk to people with ms is true as much as the statement that I want to raise money for ms charities! It doesnt cost anything and you will be able to listen to my northern accent.....for free!

Please talk to me! I have some peoples email addresses allready so I will be contacting you direct anyway to make sure I can speak to you! It works the same as msn but its digital so its the clearest telephone call you will have ever! It works as digital over the internet so it doesnt matter where in the world you are it will fell like you are in the next room! It costs nothing but 2 minute download and all you need is a microphone or skpe telephone headset! Cheepest I seen so far is £2.99 about $1.50!

So lets give it a try and speak to me please! We might have some things to exchange more than "hows the weather!" Come on give it a go!

And its FREE TELEPHONE! Just do a search for skype! It would be great to talk to the people that matter to me! That means YOU! Even its just music or what your eating or what you find works for you! I have an opinoin I am sure you do to! Let me here it! Tell me what your doing to raise money! Tell what I should be doing to raise money!

Lets talk about anything! Please take into account the time difference to the uk! thats all I ask!(I dont want internet calls at 3 in the morning!(I will be on line but I will be drunk or stoned!hehe!)
Skpe download page

Its good to talk!
I will make you laugh one way or another!
Music for today(Another beuty from my bro)
Cable:Freeze The Atlantic(when animals attack)and
Alice Donut:Bottom of the Chain(Mule)

If you dint get my links try this:

p.s just woke up at 3 in the moring with the idea that all 2 million ms'ers on the planet would want to speak to me at the same time....not a great dream by any means! I tell you what! contact me via email with a GM time and date and I will contact you! hehe! I work in a call centre I dont want to bring work home with me! Be nice to me please! Remeber the work/life balance rule! But if i am not working feel free! email:
Just found out that calling the US from my frount room has a works out at 2 cents per minute but what the hey(pc to pc is free so get your mic sorted out!)! Local calls are free and you dont get emergency calls. But I would be calling you! lets do it!
Speak soon!
posted by personallog! @ 11:32 pm   2 comments
OMG People I dont know are donating....
I have just been speaking to my brother localhost and he is passing the link to my donation page to people he knows! Apparently his wife Pocketpunk is doing the same and she is collecting cash! I havent even got dressed yet and the moneys coming in! Wow! Cheers guys! I am going to have to jump now!hehe! Time to celebrate from my chair I think! Some going out music is needed....

Hardfloor(Mahogany roots!),Polygon Window,Aphex Twin,System F, Underworld and many more dancefloor fillers!!!! From my early years! Dancing in my chair like I just dont care haha!

I think its a bit to early to hit the beer tho!lol!

The sponsers are flying in from around the globe to! Just got 1 in from germany! This is amazing! Just amagine the posibilities if everyone did this who has ms! Come on!!!!

Just had my injection this morning in the tummy on the lefthand side and it really hurts! I think I went a bit deep! Thats going to leave a bruise I think! I allready have 1 on my leg...its starting to go but it was a bit worring! I must have hit something...capillary of something??? No when you hit a capillary it bleeds as I remeber reading.(so it could be!) I think doing it without the auto-inject thing might be a bit bold!(Recieved the new one this morning!)

Hope your all good!Take care!
posted by personallog! @ 9:36 am   3 comments
Thursday, October 13, 2005
You know I told you about music therapy....
Well this link brings a happy tear to the eye! Near the end I am playing along with the air guitar...or eukelele even! A make you feel great moment that disrves its own update! the street drummer and the beatbox from the same link really are cool too!

Let me know what you think! I think its amazing!

Feeling great now I hope you do too!
posted by personallog! @ 8:33 pm   2 comments
This jump is costing me a fortune!
ok lets break it down:
Deposit: £60(and £160 at least on the day or...)
On day amount £375(returned by sponsers!)
Petrol to get there(approx):£30
New batteries for my camera:£5.00
Food for me and the driver to the gig:£20.00

Do I really care about it no. I just have to have the funds just to cover every possible outcome! I can so do this! Not the jump just getting to the jump site by 08:00 in the morning! If I have to stay over to get there on time I will have to pay for a B+b for 2 people too! If thats not motivation to get back to work I dont know what is! I have just found out that I might have to pay to get the doc to sign the form too! Thats why you guys should be suggesting things for me to do to raise cash now! I can to the big things like this! Its later I want the cure 1st! hehe!

Come on guys a dollar a pound a fenick what ever, put your hands in your pockets!
2 million survivors could have the strongest fighting force if we club together! Not for me for US!

Todays music:
Oasis:The meaning of soul
Kula shaker:Hey dude
Orbital:All Together
Blur:The Great Escape

Todays food:Pizza!

Hope you are all well

After Kims request in comments You can add your sposer to the jump here:

Kim you were visitor 4444 by the way! congrats you have nothing yet!hehe!
posted by personallog! @ 8:08 am   4 comments
01.30am panic attack and moment of clarity! I have a dream!
right the panic attack over and got my breath what!

I had a dream! there is 2 million of us out here who have this crap disease! If each one of us was to raise £10.00 or $10.00 for a ms charity! We could have this beat within 5 years! If each of us could get a charity page set up and linked to our own blogs and get family members or friends to give something too!....anything! We could have a cure if the money was given to the people who are looking for it! Ok I am not asking you all to jump out of a plane I am not asking you to bake cakes for charity, a yard sale! I am not asking to show you sexual organs or anything! I just saying there is people out there who love you and would give there spare change to stop you digging a needle in your arm every stop this hell we are all going through!

Personally I would do anything for the people out there who cant move or dont have anyone to help them! We can all do something! You dont have to move a mountain we just have to beat this together or not at all! If you believe in god or mother earth what ever it is,who ever it is what ever it is,we need all the help we can get! We together can do this!
if you wish to set your own up go to

speech over!
Lets do this!

p.s music for this speech- Cinematic Orchestra:Evolution
posted by personallog! @ 12:36 am   0 comments
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Err....Have I done this right?
I was setting up my injection this morning and I think I broke the auto-inject device! It seemed to lock and wouldn't release the cringe. I took it back to the beginning and started again....It locked again! I hope I haven't broke it! Anyway after watching an amazing series on TV last night about people trying to get over the Nicaragua jungle in the wheelchair's...I was a bit confident so I took the needle out the auto inject and put it in my leg manually! I put the needle in at 45 degrees and slowly pushed down the plunger! Got the same bee string feeling after I removed it and through it away!

Should it be that easy?

I think I need to get in touch with the ms nurse to get a new auto-inject thing but the injections are dead easy! You don't even feel the needle at all! Its really sharp so you don't even feel it! What was I worried about?

I think my choice of music today shows some irony...

The Verve:The drugs don't work.


If I can do the injection myself then jumping out of a plane will be easy! After I have done it I want somthing else! Please give your idea's! I feel strangly confident after watching those guys last night(thanks PP for the heads up!).....I have to go back to work now!....tomorrow maybe!

Oh before I go....I am having a party at the weekend and Jen is coming too!Yey! I will try and get pics but dont hold up any hopes! As long as everyone can get me beer out the fridge should be good fun! Please do keep looking for the raising money ideas...well if we dont get money to the people who are looking for a will we get one? It just has to be done in are life time! We have so much life to live! I know you agree! Let me do my bit! I you cant do it tell me and I will see if I can do it for ya! (If its cooking do it!hehe!)

Hope you are all well!

oh check this out
Mans soup!hehe!

Are you an ms star?
posted by personallog! @ 9:10 am   9 comments
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Angry Dave!
Grrrrr. I have started the self injections of Copaxone and I am angry! Well put it this way:

Your out drinking in a local pub/bar/resturant and you get a small bloke coming up to you and causing you greef...then he hits doesnt hurt just an irritation.

(now normally I would punch his face in after laughing at him but what I am trying to show is this:)
Being an enlightened soul you would just walk away but get angry at it later!

Thats how I feel about inject yourself feeling no pain...but then it feels like a bee string(ow ow ow!) and you wonder how that happened! I am still looking for the small guy to hit tho! I might feel better about it in future but today was my first solo mission so.....ouch bitch!

Is it supposed to bleed afterwards? The one I had yesturday was with my ms nurse so I had the hard Dave face on, I dont remember seeing any blood because it was in the back of my left arm. I do remeber to bee sting feeling tho. I think beer is going to be drunk tonight and I am going to pick a fight with a house plant!
I think I am angry becuase Jen has cancelled on me for thursday! Well it is the downside of being the extra man.(tune for this has to be U2:with or without you!) I think I have to be better than this...its not fair on any of us! I need my own girl friend I think I diserve it! Just loving people for loving sake is a bit sad. I cant believe it I have just broke my couch too! I sat on it rather hard and it snapped in the middle! Crap crap crap!!!!!!

Need some music therapy to calm me down lets start with Cold Play:Politic first(angry but leads to some calming tunes for the rest of the album) I think I will work the rest of todays tunes as the day goes on!
I need to get back to work soon as the flat is going to drive me mad! Got to clean and hoover too! Thing to celebrate today is the parachute jump! Going to do it on november 5th! So fireworks will be the celebration. I have a holiday first tho!

Hope your all ok and not angry at the little things like me.
posted by personallog! @ 9:06 am   7 comments
Monday, October 10, 2005
Read the terms and conditions DAVE!! Yey!
Is ms a neurodegenerative yeah! In the notes to the doctor for the Parachute jump it states "Most neurodegenerative disorders are acceptable unless respitory imparirment or marked postural hypotension are present"

OH MY GOD I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All I need to do is get my GP to sign saying that I am resposible and I can breath at great hight! Sorry bobbeh mate I....I am going to do it! 1st phone call this morning is to the doc's anyway!I can do it
I can do it!
I can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh sh*t I have to do it now!lol

Allways read the terms and conditions Dave! You should know this working in banking you f*ck nut!
Yes yes YES!

Happy Days!
Hope your all ok!
posted by personallog! @ 7:27 am   6 comments
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Family weekend!
Its amazing what taking 'time out' can do when you spend it with people you love and care for! I havent got my mobility back or anything it just a good feeling!
Spent some great time with my dad just having a couple of beers and chatting! It sort of tells me where I came from and I like it! I wish I could just be more to make my family proud!
Listened to some fantastic tunes too!

Michael Brecker
Clause Ogerhan
Frank Zappa

To name a few fantsatic jazz artists! Ok my collection has been going towards jazz allready but this is the pinical of everything that is good in my life!(family family family!) I have my camera back too so the blog may be making some changes in future...I wont tell you what yet...its just a warning! You will get the same Dave will change with me as the disease changes my outlook on life! I promise it will be a good read as it allways has done before! I will be honest with you as allways. But just you wait till I get an up day! Feel like Kak still and not looking forward to the hospital tomorrow morning!

I hope you are all well
posted by personallog! @ 9:49 pm   2 comments
Saturday, October 08, 2005
well here is the new ugly dave

time for buisness I think! tell me what you think of the spec's and wheather I should stick with lenses!
Personally I think I look darn sexy!hehe! and I can see too! Might stop me picking up the bad women!hehe!

Oh thinking of contacting the parachute people and asking if I could do the different jump anyway! I think if I dont have someone attached to me it might be ok! I know not to get my hopes up with anything now....but I can try! I will get the ms trust to change the adverts tho!

Todays music: Oasis: Dont believe the truth

hope you all good
Remember to tell me what you think of the spec's! cheers!
posted by personallog! @ 12:02 pm   5 comments
Friday, October 07, 2005
Ab-so-lutly FECKING GUTTED! I cant do the jump!!!!!
Just open the post and found information from the people who arrange jumps at the airfield! There is a declartion of health form....if you have ms you cant jump!
And I quote:

"I hereby declare that I am phsically fit.I do not,and have not,suffered from any of the following conditions,which I understand may lead to a dangerouse situation with regard to myself or other persons during parachuting:
Epilepsy,fits Servere head injury, recurrentblackoutsor gidyness,disease of the brain or nervouse system,high blood pressure, heart or lung disease,recurrent weakness or dislocation of any limb,diabetes,mental illness,drug or alcohol addiction" End quote

WTF My god it doesnt say that on the adverts or applications! It doesnt even say it of the web page! I have spoken to them in the past even and they didnt say anything at the time! The declaration has to be signed by my doctor so I cant even lie and say I dont have ms! I have spoken to work and they said "ahh Im so SORRY dave!".

I am sick of people being sorry for me!

But....I have spoken to the birthday boy and he is going to do it....the amazing flying Bobbeh! What a good lad! Still getting sponsership but putting in his name now! Hope my family still sponser him instead of me! I am sure they will!
Just somthing else ms has taken from me!

I can believe they dont tell you! I am gutted! Sorry people I feel such a let down to you all! Sorry Kim mate!

posted by personallog! @ 1:02 pm   3 comments
Life is one big hang over looking for the asprin!
Today I do actually have the hang over from hell and its all my own fault! I managed to go out last night cause I was forced! I was taken by surpize! I was settling in for the night to watch movies and attempt to make the liquid Dave possition on the couch when I got a text from Bobbeh saying he was coming round to my house. Ok....not a strange request by any means! Couple of beers with a mate.....sounds good to me, got a crate of beer in the fridge....why not! Then got a text from Em saying she is going to get Bobbeh a present for his birthday on the 7th and would I like to come to the Trafford Centre(big mall!) to look! I turned to Bobbeh and say "are you coming?" and thats where the night got crazy! (maybe crazeh lol!) We went for a couple of beers thats all! Then we went for food(I had to have mexican!) then more beer then back to mine to finish the crate of beer! Got very emotional with two of my best buds! It wasnt till 3 in the morning that I noticed I HAD been out like a normal human is possible even when knackered! I am going on holiday with these guys!

I didnt even relise I considered myself any thing else but human but it was pointed out that I looked at myself as disabled and I shouldnt! Eye opener! To have two people poiting out that I am a "top bloke" bought a tear to the eye! I love them both very much and will make ever effort to be the best I can be for them aswell as me! They are coming tonight too!yey! (I just hope they bring more beer lol!)
Happy birthday Bobbeh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope you like the cd I got you mate! Next step, going out on the pull for all 3 of us!Hehe! Watch out scotland here we come! Todays tunes is a Bobbeh favorite! It has to be the....Cinematic Orchestra:The Awaking of the Woman

I think I have found my asprin cheers guys!
Hope everyone is ok
posted by personallog! @ 9:20 am   1 comments
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Sick days tunes!
Got up like sludge from a sewer pipe this morning! 1st tune on...
Beatles:Elanor Rigby

"Why!" I hear you ask! Its "All the lonley people where do they all come from" line sort of gets me! I spend sick days on my own. I think thats why. then it can go either way depending on the severity of the sickness....
The Doors:Stange days (makes me feel better to think I am not the only one having the strange days.)
Or if its a mild ms pain day and I am looking forward to woman interaction...
The Doors:Love me two times (its the "I am going away" line that means something here!)
Also reminds me of a girl I once knew! (the first boobs I saw out doors!hehe) I was only 15 so I will rember her allways!
If its a serve pain day I usually tune to house to build up agression! I think the more agression I have towards the disease the better my confidence will be when well again! It works for me and I wouldnt expect others out there to have the same taste in music as me....yes some of the tunes I listen to maybe but I listen to so much different music types now I would shock you with the amount of classical and of the wall types. I love the energy of music in any format. I think its a life thing!

It does depend on my mind state too! but I have every avenue covered now I think and I am allway collecting more every day! Nitan Sawhney, Nizlopi,Biffy Clyro,Kosheen,U2, Radiohead,Muse,Cinematic Orchestra,Nivana,Hernan Cattaneo, LTJ Bukem,Iron Maiden,Linkin park,Slayer,Cold Play,Aphex Twin,Travis,Leftfield,Mortzart,Rage against the machine,Led Zepplin, get the idea?

This makes me happy and I am glad to use the time being ill to find it and listen to it! Why not I have f*ck all else to do! I want to experence life....because I still have one! So do you! I might not be able to walk far but I can travel arround the world from my pc! It could allways be better but its how good I make it!

Hope your all good and listening to some great tunes,please tell me what music you listen too!

P.s got some dvd's through the post today(with my outfit for halloween!pics at later date!) I recieved:American History X,Fight Club,Romper Stomper and Trainspotting! Reviews to follow at later date.
posted by personallog! @ 8:08 am   3 comments
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
I am such a doofusss! Donnie Darko days!
I know this is the second update today but I need to say this now!(before your arrested Dave hehe!) I was just settling down to another great movie(Donny Darko!) and the door bell went. The delivery was the dreaded copaxone! Massive box and even bigger bloke to carry it! the polystrireen (spelt wrong on perpose!) contains 28 disposeable syringe, three different bags, some ice packs, about 15 different books on how to inject, the easy inject sytem tubes, a video(get into this millenium!the dvd revolution is here!) and a slightly wierd smell! The box was hughe! Unpacked it all and put dvd back on!

Then I sat down I relised that my skinning up gear was on the side! ooops! I hope the guy didnt see the weed I left out! lol! i guess he has seen it before!

Well I guess its time to start the injections! better call the ms nurse!I am raising money for them and thats what there there for! I left a message for her(Alison!what a star!) I am awaiting a call back! Should I start on my own? Hmmm!

The Donny darko movie is scary! Its a cult classic!Its a fantastic movie! Very intelegent writter and director and the subject matter is so off the wall its great! big score on this one has to be its in my collection... Every time I watch it I get a different story! Frank scares the living day lights out of me! Go watch it! 10/10

I will let you know how thwe injection goes! And if 'k' calls again to my blog get in touch mate!(I think your based in england,you abrievate your first namme, but not sure!let me know!)
Hope everyone is good!
posted by personallog! @ 1:51 pm   2 comments
Work / Life balance! please read second update copaxzone here!
I am off again! Yesterday was a bit of a blur! I woke up and put movies on...slept while some of the movies were on! Sort of driffed in and out of sleep and would text people when I was awake! I did manage to drink a load of coffee but it didnt seem to work very well at all! It got to 9 oclock!...I was awake! I spoke to bobbeh>>>>>>>>>> on msn messenger for a while spoke to Em too! Then the pain started! I sat through it for 30 mins then just needed some relief. I am trying to stay away from the drugs cabinate as I would like to save my liver(for the beer you relise!lol) so I got a joint rolled and relaxed a bit....well alot! I know I have said in the past that I have said I dont smoke IT during the week because of work! But last night was the stangest pain in the right hand side of my body....all the way from feet(which felt cold) to the right nostril!

I have woken this am to the same pain but I am not touching weed today! I think somthing legal might be the right step! If that doesnt work....then I will try again with the weed! I GP my nero and my ms nurse have suggested it in the past....all of the record tho! Now its on record I suppose(hehe!) its up to me if it works I am going to do it! I just hope the pain goes away! I hate typing with one hand!

Today is the day I start taking my life back...(have I said that before?) I need to eat better excersise propley and get some routine sorted! I need to get back to work too! The Work/Life balance is pretty weighed towards the life but it I think its broken a bit!

Need to feel better now! Music is needed.....just found it in the collection of Dave....Leftfield:Storm 3000....this is from the Leftism album!(yes I have got it Sinead! Thanks for checking!)Todays tune: Massive attack:teardrop(one of my fav's!)

Back to work tommorrow what ever happens!(fingers crossed x!)

I will get better If guys promise to!

P.S Bring on the jump Bitch!lol
posted by personallog! @ 7:56 am   3 comments
Tuesday, October 04, 2005!
Just watched one of the best movies in my collection! Well I have nothing else to do! It has music(king curtis:Whiter shade of pale,jimi hendrix:vodoo chile ect)the best characters (Whithhnail and I) Richard E Grant and Paul McGann. About two actors in the 60's and the throws of drug induced unemployment! Every 30 seconds there is a quote I have used in every day life! Its deffinatly a favorite and would love to watch it a second third and 4th time in one day! I think I want to give this a five star rating! Dont watch it if you easliy offended! It shows some great english madness and makes me wonder what the scottish holiday will be like for us....hehe! I think I want to use this as starting point for reviewing movies in the future on my blog! So we have food,music,photographs and movie reviews! just throw "The finest wines known to humanity" into the equation and you have my life in a nut shell! The ending to the movie shows Withnall reciting some William shakespeer that moves the soul and you have the perfect movie! Sorry if this isnt your usual type of movie! Its a 15 but there is so much swearing to show the plight of the time...I think it should be a 18!
posted by personallog! @ 1:08 pm   0 comments
Ahhhh my god! Restbite please!
Another day of pain is here to stay! I am allready so looking forward to the weekend and its only tuesday! I am going to my parents house and cant wait to see the family. I so need to hug my mum!

I am trying to keep myself busy around the house just to keep my body working! I have even changed my smoking habbits to keep my fingers busy! I am smoking rolling tabaco instead of pre-rolled so I dont loose the use of my hands! I am typing more so I can return to work in full flow! If you dont use them you loose them type thing! I bathe more oftern so I dont end up being bathed by somone else!(you dont know who the NHS would send in the future!!!lol) I do feel more relaxed about raising the money for the jump. Its the principal rather than the amount at the moment! I have the coffee machine working all the time to keep me awake as now hate being dead to the world! The fatigue is playing on my nerves(how ironic eh!) The only thing that not active is my mind! I cant seem to pick up a book as I get half way through a line and the page goes....well blurry....I know its a concentration thing! I think more about my friends and I want to make sure there ok too! I cant wait for the holiday with Em and Bobby(great bloke who has a blog here too,check his page for more details about my friend!) its going to be so much fun!

I am dreaming alot more now I am not smoking weed during the week. I think that might be a lession thing as I replay things that have happend over the past year! The jealousy thing with Sinead the worry of getting my own place, the love I feel for Jen on that first kiss and every time I see her!(cant wait till next week babe!) Its just making me think about doing something else amazing! You know the "things to do before I die" things seem more important! I might do some travelling or somthing! Yet again the money thing comes into play....

Do I want to keep my independance or spend like a fool! If I dont keep my independance I will just give up! Need to see Jen asap! She allways has a different view point which I love about her! She doesnt have the "I am sorry for you Dave"look or the "why you doing that!" look! Mixed feelings today I guess! Might have something to do with the music I am listening to today!(Elliott Smith!)

Need some restbite!

Hope you are all well

*Just been in touch with the ms trust who are going to send me some info, forms collection tins ect ect and they are going to premote my blog too! I think I might have to clean up my act a bit!lol See even on a bad day I can do somthing! So can you!
posted by personallog! @ 6:29 am   5 comments
Monday, October 03, 2005
somthing to make you....errrm smile hehe!
You have probley have read this but I had to put this up here! It made me laugh for about 20 mins!

God smiles on the male ms'ers!(maybe even the women too!)

Bring on the drugs and lock up your daughters! Maybe you wont need that stick after all guys! (think about it!) hehe!

Happier Dave! But yet again on the sex issue.....sorry but I am a young guy, dumb yes but a young guy!

Somthing seriouse to look at:
has anyone got more info this?

Look after each other!
posted by personallog! @ 7:24 pm   1 comments
Help me please!
I woke up at 05:00 this morning having a nightmare about the jump! I wasnt worried about the falling bit! I was worried that I cant do it coz I havent raised enough cash! Honestly! I was thinking of the embasisment through the blog! What you guys would think! I even emailed Sinead asking for help with a sponsership this morning! I so want to prove myself with this! Please please please help me do this! It would mean a great deal to me to do somthing for us!

I have called in sick at work today as in pain and the stress is a bit much! I have spoken to my team manager who said she will continue collecting at work for me! but somthing is telling me its not enough! What else can I do? Any idea's?

Pleae help me!

I have removed the pic by request of a very close friend. Sorry to say that vix but I now know that there are better ways without upsetting anyone! We need to stick together on this! sorry for upsetting the apple cart girls! To be compleatly honest I am sh*t scared of what this disease has allready done and will do in the future to my body! I hope there is people out there who are willing to shock and raise money to get rid of this nightmare! I am sorry if I have offened by showing the pic but at the same time I respect what vix has done to raise that amount of money!
Just take care of each other
posted by personallog! @ 7:50 am   2 comments
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Last night was a heavy one!
Eating fantastic food and spending time with some amazing people, Thanks guys! This morning I am paying for it! I cant wait for the holiday now! I have to see the Willam Wallace memorail! (FREEEDOMMM!) But while drunk sorted out the link to my donation page for the jump! Again if I have have offended anyone I am sorry....but we need to fight this disease in any way that we can! This is just one way! This for every time that you get the tremers for every time you are trying to get the strength to raise a leg up a step and for the every person out there who has this damb disease! We have to do somthing......dont we?

I cant lay my head down to die without saying at least I tried my hardest to help other people in the same boat! I feel very strong on this! I have trouble lacing my shoes some mornings! My bowl control isnt the best! But I think throwing my ass out a plane should be......a good idea to raise some money! This thing in my body.....I need to get it out! As if the depression wasnt enough! I hate the fact that my life is being taken away from me! If it can get me to cry at this age....I need to fight back somehow!

I am twenty something and life is just begining again for me! Why do we have this and how do I get on with life....only god knows! But with the help of everyone else who has this disease I have the best fighting force in the world!
todays music
1.LCD Sound systems
2.Biffy Clyro....if you want to these guys out of intrest go here:
its the video and others! checl it out
I will get the link for this one coz its great!

Sorry if I offend anyone here!
Hope your doing well this moning!
Either will do! lol!
posted by personallog! @ 10:11 am   3 comments
Saturday, October 01, 2005
I have just got into bed with google!
Woke up this morning hating ms as usual and decided to get some funding from them! Its not a it? I feel like a google whore!lol

Seeing as I can get paid for this(how ever much this maybe!) I think I will spend more time on it! I have a party planned for tonight with a group of good mates! Beer a plenty! I cant wait to see people in my house should be a great laugh!

I have noticed that I am more mobile in the morning! I should be using this time to do something shoulnt I? I wake up on the weekend and get to the frount room and lie down to watch tv!...I think I could even do the watch tv in bed if I was really lazy! I would have to get a tv in the bedroom tho! Need to clean flat and get satans hoover out!grrr!

Music for today....Justin Robertson:Imprint #1....Orbital:Implant(who am I kidding! I cant put down Jamie Cullum!hehe!)

These are dance tunes....I hate that word 'dance' They are different to the jazz tunes I have been doing recently..(I am still looking forward to the hard house stage!)..I think I am entering a different stage music wise....As you know this happens quite frequently, I find changing the music can change how the body or your brain reacts for the day! Try it! Anyway I will tell you how the party goes tomorrow!

Take care peeps have a great weekend!
posted by personallog! @ 8:09 am   0 comments
ms....not just a diary
About Me

Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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