I haver been to work today and received a confussed look that I have not had before... Ever! I was asked by a member of staffIf I was ok....that bit is ok. When I said I was fine then came the look. "You dont look fine" came the reply as I looked to hold on to somthing. When asked againI felt the need to tell them I had a sore back as I didn't see them as a friend. After 10 mins of mindless conversation I had to sit down or fall down.
I then told my colleauge about the ms and requested if we could finish conversation sat at lunch. During lunch break I felt that I shouldn't hide from tell them about it. I mean I am not exactly proud of the fact, my question isnt why did I feel I couldn't tell them straight away. My question why should it matter if he knows or not . My god there are people on the other side of the world who know this . Why should I feel embarised about MS? IS THIS A MAN THING PLAYING WITH MY HEAD? Protecting my man hood type thing? Or am I affraid to show a weakness?
Not only that. I good public transport for my journey home and I fell on somone when trying to walk to a chair on the bus. .....ok stop laughing! I said oops made my appologies, turned red then sat down...
oh god what a day!
I am waiting to see a phisio so they can sort some things for me. One of them hopefully a stick or somthing. I dont feel like I want a stick. I want to walk untill someone says "dave stop it!" I think thats another man thing...; I will be fighting this all the way but I dont feel old enough for a stick. Sorrry if that offend anyone with a stick but we are all fighting are battles in our own way, this is mine. Maybe the wrong way...maybe the right way for me who knows? I dont see any doctors with MS trying my way yet. I really dont want to take this lying down, or sitting.
Well I think the dose from the docter is doing something but I am not what. Look how much I have typed. It must be doing something! Not helped my spelling or typing tho!
Hang in there - I didn't tell my coworkers for a year after my diagnosis, and it was clear from my hand problems that something was really wrong. I was kinda embarassed too but I don't know why, but I definitely didn't want to talk about it with almost stangers.
It was a 'Man Thing' for me too. I was on top of the world. Running marathons, lifting weights, teaching aerobics, moving up the corporate ladder. Then things went horribly wrong. I hid it until I couldn't hide it any more. I didn't want my life to change unless I was doing the changing. I had to learn that some things are not within my control and I had to work around them, not bully my way through them. Nuance, willful determination and inteligence have become my tools now. I had to cast off my habits belligerance, force and stubborn tunnel vision. The sword has been laid down and the quill is it's replacement.
Dave ...can u not get a funky dude stick you know like a walking in the hills sherpa stick ...that wouldnt be so bad you would just look eccentric and stuff ...maybe u need a drive up to the lakes ...
hi bro. strangely enough, i agree with p.p. get yourself a cool stick - something like a cane. i know that it seems like you are giving in to ms a bit, but i will definately get rid of the passers by who assume that you're just pissed. it's kind of like you helping yourself to fight too - you staying mobile and getting about is you not sitting down and being prevented from getting around - if you see what i mean. anyway, we'll talk more about it at the weekend. lh
Name: personallog! Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!!
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Hang in there - I didn't tell my coworkers for a year after my diagnosis, and it was clear from my hand problems that something was really wrong. I was kinda embarassed too but I don't know why, but I definitely didn't want to talk about it with almost stangers.