Saturday, November 12, 2005
A day of.....I dont know what!
There seem to be many more days of confusion recently! I know it has alot to do with the Jen situation and I Hope its nothing to do with ms having a different attack! What is classed as an attack anyway? Is it just a different feeling of pain or mental state of mind? If its the latter I think its hitting me hard! Do I fully commit myself to this feeling for Jen or not? To be honest.....I dont think I can stop myself! Do I want to! Is it making ms easier when she is here! Yeah!

I think the crap I went through with Sinead has really messed me up! I thought to myself that if the roles were reversed would I have stayed with her....yeah I would have done everything to make her life easier! To love her without question! I think thats why I dont speak to her anymore....she didnt love me! I think that situation is going to effect any relationship with a woman in the future! If I commit myself to the feeling of love with Jen....something is telling me to make sure she loves me too! Before I start loosing my mind over her I need to have a good think about what I want out of life now I have this disease to take in to account! It shouldnt be this hard should it?

Right sorry about the feeling down might have something to do with todays music....I have someone to thank for this.....Amanda! I bought this album when I was in scotland....Jamie Cullum:Catching Tales

Amanda reminded me of a tune on the album and it hasnt been off the cd player for a while! Cheers babe! The music will change tonight tho! I have my mate lee coming round for a beer and if Em is feeling better I hope she will be coming with bobbeh!

Strange days! Hope you are all well!

you can allways start to make requests!hehe I allways love the bass line in this tune!
And this:
posted by personallog! @ 12:59 pm  
  • At 3:04 pm, Blogger amanda said…

    So was it a bad reminder or good?? I sure hope good!!! I just thought that song described how I was doing right now it's not all blue it has a nice Up-beat to it don't ya think??

    Hope u had fun last nite. and sorry bout having to end our conversation so abruptly yesterday..Didn't know I was gonna have company!!!

  • At 3:08 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    It is allways good reminder to listen to music from Jamie! I had a great holiday and that cd just finished the holiday right! It will remind me of you in future too! The super mom!hehe! Hope you are well and not angry now!


  • At 5:32 pm, Blogger mouse said…

    Hey Big Guy, I love the music in the background while I play catch up reading how your week went. Sorry, you are a little down. Just go with the flow and keep your focus! I know you go into everything with your eyes wide open. Stay cool, you have a lot going for you.

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Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
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I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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