Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Pain or maddness?
I hate this feeling! Got pain take pain killers. Taken pain killers prepair for drug induced maddness! Whats the difference? Whats the greater good? Do I sit in pain or do I sit and drown in saddness? This sucks! Did a half day at work today and all I can think(yet again!) is why? This is a bad place to be! Depression sucks big style!

I am better than this I know I am. I am intelegent enough to realise the complex situation this disease brings....maybe thats the problem! I dont like hate and I dont have a bad bone in my body but something bad is happening to me! I am 29 and should be out there living a life of a kid. Being stupid and living life to the full.....but no!

If I had something or someone to blame I would be fighting the good fight but I dont have anything! I can even blame myself for a miss spent youth! I am still in my youth! Right now I should have a fear of getting old and trying to hide the gray hairs but I am looking forward to getting more gray hair and will wear it with pride to say at least I got this far!

How do I challenge this? Do I get in touch with the doc to get anti depression tablets...hmm no! I am putting so many drugs into my system as it is I want to give my liver a chance! So what can I do about it....I guess I just grin and bear it!
It will be ok when I work it out! I just know there is someone out there saying "If you only had God on your side"....hmm! I have a belief in something and I am too polite to place it in here!
Some Korn for breakfast I think! Anthrax for lunch anyone?(childhood tunes for a better time in my life! I know thats not science working at its best!)

Hope you are all well
posted by personallog! @ 2:20 pm  
  • At 3:23 pm, Blogger amanda said…

    I wish that I could make you feel a lil better. You helped me SOOO much through my depression last month. For that I thank you.

    Just remember there are people here(in internet land) that LOVE and care about you!!!!

    Love always your friend

  • At 3:29 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    cheers mate! I will be better soon dont you worry it will take more than depression to keep me down! Love back at yea


  • At 6:29 pm, Blogger mdmhvonpa said…

    You gotta roll with this dude. Remember ... POS ... POSITIVE OUTLOOK.

  • At 2:17 am, Blogger mouse said…

    Remember to focus. Don't forget to vent big time when you do the jump! Expiration elation. I'm talking about the air you will exhale when you yell the loudest, longest, most satisfying yell you have ever given. Leave it all out there.

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Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
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I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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