Sunday, March 05, 2006
For some reason I don't feel happy
Jen went out last night and am I am jealous! Not of her going off with someone else. I am jealous of the able bodied. I want to be 'able' to go out and shake my ass...You know I think it is the hardest thing to deal with. I used to love going out clubbing. I used to love walking about forests and looking at castles and sites of natural beauty...Instead I live in a flat on my own.

I need to get proud of my life again! Maybe its just life throwing me a curve ball but I don't feel happy today. Being happy is my 'Thing' and I need to find something to make me smile, any idea's? I have always given good advice to others but now I need to take some of my own advice...Its just that I can't take my own advice and do something!

They say that depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain...I have been taking a lot of drugs and additives to make feel better but at what point does all these chemicals start to effect mental stability? Look I am not going on to a killing spree or anything I just want the easy life back...I want the child in me to come back...But I guess that is just it. I think getting old sucks! The voice of experience will calm me down. Time for a change in the theme tune!
What about a Nizlopi video?Click here to watch it! Girls eh! This tune was listened to for a long time while I talked to Jen on the dating site. God I love her!
I will be ok! Hope you are well too!
Dave
Album of the moment:
Nine inch nails-The Fragile
Favorite track:Le Mer
posted by personallog! @ 2:34 pm  
2 Comments:
  • At 11:27 pm, Anonymous some_maineiac said…

    oh, dave, I can empathize with the loneliness of living by yourself, but I have no magic answer for depression...it's certainly a chemical imbalance in the brain, but that can be brought on by many things and it appears to be unique to the individual...it took me a LONG time to find all the reasons behind my life-long depression, which I'd rather not go into here...

    I have a good friend who is partially disabled because of a back injury, and he seems to deal with it by cultivatng as many interests as he can...but he also has the support of a loving wife...lucky guy!!!

    and you're better off than I am right now...at least you have a girl who cares about you!

     
  • At 3:15 am, Blogger amanda said…

    oh I wish that I could make you feel good about life and yourself as you did for me when I was going through this depression crap!!!

    but on a side not today when we were talking and I could not spell for sh*t you told me that it made you smile right?

    here is a ((hug)) and -<<--@ flower to smell I know u r a guy but it is a gift of my thanks to you for what you helped me get through!!!

    Love ya and take care and get better...

     
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Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
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I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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