Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The only thing that your certain of is uncertainty!
I lost it a bit last night when I received an email from Jen saying that she wasn't coming on Saturday she would be at mine on Sunday. I think I have upset her...Well she deleted her blog(again!) so I guess she is upset with me!

I am starting to feel like a thirteen year old boy again saying "he said she said!" and to be honest I am bored! I want my friends to be a definite, I want my friends to be there! I have too many uncertainties with this disease I WOULD like at least one thing in my life to be certain(I mean more than the impending death that we all face!!!). I just saying it would be nice to be consulted about something's! I give you an example:
"Dave today you won't be able to use your right leg to its normal capacity and will be running at 82% efficiency"

"Thankyou there any leaway on the 82%?"

"Errrr...well I might change my mind at about lunch time but dont eat pasta or I will knock you on your ass and make you PAY!"

So you get the right idea yeah? 82% is an understatment but what I am trying to get across is there some uncertainty already and I am sick with it! When you get people letting you down its just like there is 3 people in the last conversation and it would go a bit like this:

"Dave, today you will have a head ache that will feel like your being passed through satans butt crack."

"Oh thankyou oh masterfull ms"

"Thats fine Dave maybe I will let you off at 18:00"
"Excuse me no you wont!I am Dave's friend and I will be giving him a sence of lonleyness, hate and self loathing at 15:00 which will last till midnight.Oh I forgot the side order of self pity"

"Thats fine by me but I will have to ad pain and a worrying bowl movement"
"Yeah I feel like sh*t anyway Why not kick me while I am down!"
"Shut up Dave WE are in control here, its not your life anymore"


Do you get the idea now? I havent even touched on the heat being a issue!

I have had 5 different mates cancle on me over the past month and it's not right! I have been there for all my friends when ever they have needed me. The shoulder to cry on, the rock for mental stability(ok maybe not mental!) but I have always said you can come to me with a problem and I will listen, but more importantly I WILL BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED ME!

Well I cant even run away now can I! I am sorry if I upset you Jen but I hope now you can see why I am!

I have come away to spend some time with friends this week and family at the end of this week. I will be back in my flat on friday night where I intend to get really really drunk,Just like I did last night.
Hope you all ok!

Just a reminder that Kims t-shirt is up for grabs on ebay I am winning at the moment so click her to beat me! Go on its for charity!
posted by personallog! @ 8:45 am  
  • At 10:44 am, Blogger pocketpunk said…

    just like dad said to me - you know who ure real friends are now matey -
    family is where its at .... maybe this is fate telling you its time to move is not the time for fickle friends


  • At 10:48 am, Blogger personallog! said…

    You maybe right there sis!

    I have a song running in my head "You'll never walk alone!" I know its for Liverpool football team and it sucks!

    Chin up eh!

  • At 1:24 pm, Blogger danceswithwolves said…

    Don't get started on football. You had enough trouble with religion! The one has replaced the other in this country. I agree with the pocket punk, family is where its at (man). We are here for you in cyberspace but best of all we're here for you in the "real" world. That said you have some good friends around you don't dismiss them too casually.

  • At 2:24 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    I would never dimiss a friend...ever! Wheather they are in the internet or in real life......I couldnt ever. My friends are to important to me....I dont care if I am not important to them!


  • At 12:51 am, Blogger amanda said…

    Oh dave I wish that we lived closer to each other because I would hop on in to my legs (wheelchair) and be there ASAP and give you hug after hug sounds like you need one more than I do. Like it's been said you definetly have friends here. We all LOVE ya lots!!!

  • At 12:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just wanted to say I know I live further away from you than the rest of the family but I am always here too! Cant shake off your lil' sis. Just because people are busy or not there all the time doesnt mean they love you any less! ( I dont mean to sound like I'm telling you off) Think about what you DO have dont focus on what you dont. Love and hugs Cath. xx

  • At 1:09 am, Blogger Jaime said…

    As I said when we talked ealier, I will be here whenever you need me! I may not be there physically and may never make it to the UK (as much as I would love to travel to Europe!) but I will always be available to you online. You are a great man and I we have become great friends. If there is anything you need, please know I will do whatever I can from here. As Amanda said above, we LOVE you and are here to help, especially with the ms stuff (been there, done that!). Please take care. Love ya, Jaime.

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Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
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I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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