Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I think Manchester has had my best days....
*****I GOT TO HAVE HER (John Hunt Jazz Band)******Change of music too:
*****SING FOR ABSOLUTION (Muse)*****
I think I have had it with Manchester....I need help and I cant expect complete strangers to pick me from the floor anymore. Yes it happened again and I no longer feel the man I was. I haven't got any other gigs planned or anything...Its sad to say it but I think I have had it with this place. The blues....Maybe...But that realization that I can't do it on my own is the scary thing I have to pay attention to! There is help out there and I could probley stay in this flat if funded by the government but I know I would never leave the flat. What do I do plan more things in Manchester or just hold my hands up and say "I am finished!". I rang in sick to work today too(so much for the week holiday eh!) and I feel like I am letting them down in a huge way. If I do the jump this weekend I will collect the money and start looking for the best way for me to have the best life I can with this disease.

The reason I left the flat this morning was to see if I could intercept a t-shirt that is being sent from Canada. Yeah the Larry the lesion t-shirt I won on eBay. The reason why its being sent to my ex-girlfriends house is that I haven't done the administration and changed my address with Paypal! I don't even know if she is there now or not....Its been a year so probley not! Well at least the money goes to charity....I really don't look good in yellow anyway!hehe! I have to ring the post office depo to see if it comes in and they can stop it! Oh well!

I am a strong man mentally but the body is failing me and that bit is scary! Time to break out the cigars and the jazz music for me I think! I am not expecting anyone to hand me a life on a plate, but a hand to help would be good. This post isn't to get Jen to make the big jesture and move in with me....She has her own stuff to deal with and I can't help her with that. I can be there for her if she wants someone to talk to. I hope you know that babe! I have to think about my welfare for the future....Don't I?

Sorry if this post has bought anyone down, thats is not my intention. I am just recording it for my records.

I hope you are all well.
A sad Dave

Mood swings with ms.....na really!!!!(cheers for this Jaime!) Might explaine todays post!
posted by personallog! @ 12:04 pm  
2 Comments:
  • At 8:28 pm, Blogger Jaime said…

    It is very scary when you get to the point where you have to make these decisions. I was there not too long ago.

    On one hand it is important to have your loved ones around to support you, a solid support system is key. On the other hand being able to be independent is important for your mental health. It is horrible to feel like you can't do things for yourself and then also have nothing else to do. You start to feel worthless, depressed. You need things to keep your mind busy, active. The key is to have a balance where you can be happy living in a place where you can achieve both!

    I wish you the best. Take your time to make these decisions. If you need anything, to talk, whatever, you know where I am.

    Jaime

     
  • At 8:32 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    Cheers babe!

    Dave

     
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Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
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I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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