Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Just me again????
****THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST (Iron Maiden)****
Sorry Just fancied an oldie but goodie! The lead singer(Bruce Dickenson) is a pilot and he is a mean sword fighter. Its amazing what you can do over time eh!
What a surprise, I recieved an email from Jen which says she would rather see me go back to St Annes and get the support I need than struggle on my own in Manchester.... Well it great to see her make a discision for once and be honest about it. Yeah I still love her and understand why she said that...Well I am running out of money and it would be a big step for anyone to go out with a ms'er....Like me!

Am I upset? Yeah.
Am I relieved? Yeah.
Am I moving away?....No no and thrice NO!

I couldnt sleep last night and lay looking at the celing(The usual place!hehe) and I thought to myself....You can do this for yourself Dave. Why did you need someone to compleate you? To be honest. I dont need someone to compleate me. I am me and if you dont like it then I will do it on my own anyway. I dont need to be mothered I need to get to know myself again and build on it. I am not dead yet and I will go out quiet and silent the same way I came in....On my own!

I was going to put the email from Jen on here for you all to read but you dont need to see that. I think she has made the right choice to be honest....But if she doesnt do something with her life now when is she going to be able to. She is young in years and in other ways to but she needs someone/something in her life that makes it worth while for her....I think thats what I want for her too. I dont want to make her feel bad, I never have. I know she felt unconfortable at the gig and I dont think she would be able to get used to the ever changing factors of ms in me! It sucks....But what you going to do eh!

What does Dave do? Take it on the chin, accept it and get on with it! The same as I did with my last one! Ho hum! Am I doing the right thing?....there is only one way to find out!

I went out today to pick up some milk and a few things. I met three people that I know. I got chatted up by a young lass, I got talking to two others in a shop and I relised something. I like me and Manchester isn't that bad really. The sun was shining and I felt....good! The pain factor seems minimal when your warm and full of pain killers. I got a text from Jen and I was actually busy. Wierd! It was hot and I felt not effected by it....I wonder why? I have a docs note for the rest of the week so I think I will spend it getting a tan.hehe!
Deffinatly a 'Cinematic Orchestra' day. Time for a smoke me thinks!
***After Stephs's comment below! I have got in touch with my ms nurse to discuss what my options are. She is coming tomorrow moorning at 9:30! Any body got and questions for her? I know I have a few!hehe!(sorry Alison!)*****

Hope your all well, I dont feel bad at all!
posted by personallog! @ 10:19 am  
  • At 12:41 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It sounds like your mind is in turmoil.

    You want to stay in Manchester because you don’t want to feel like a failure and your career and a few friends are there. However on other days you want to leave the big city behind and return to old friends and family.

    Maybe its time to make a decision

  • At 2:36 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    oooh I love anon comments. Turmoil yes but its just another ms thing that I am starting to get used to. Its great to have the opptions available....and I am happy to take my time in the decision....Thats life isnt it?


  • At 2:56 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    I also want to say! I not going anywhere that I am not sure about without a fight! And there is plenty of that left in me!


  • At 2:59 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    Decisions, decisions! Can you get some sort of disability pension? Maybe you could take some time in Manchester to know yourself through things like walking in the park, sitting in a coffee house and meeting random people, taking in as much live music as you can and so on, not wasting energy on work for a bit. Although I am in a relationship, I do go through wondering how anyone could want to be with me and my stupid ms. People do though, and you will probably find if you can take some time to get out for a bit, many 'lasses' will be taking an interest in you. You're a good-looking guy who can rock the make-up! You have good and diverse taste in music and from your blog, you seem pretty damn interesting. It will get better, and if it doesn't, then you can move. Take care.


  • At 3:06 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    Ilike you way of thinking Steph! I will keep you advised through the blog! My idea is to show how much life 'we' still have after diagnosis. You rock Steph!
    Cheers Babe!

  • At 4:09 pm, Blogger Jaime said…

    I am glad that you are keeping busy and not letting this get you down! :) There is still a lot of life left to live. We talked about this yesterday, remember! Anyway, I hope you are having a great day...keep up the good spirits. Take care. Jaime

  • At 1:19 am, Blogger amanda said…

    Dave sooo glad that you are in HIGH spirits. People like us need that in our lives.

    I miss chatting with you on MSN we need to catch up with each other when my hands decide to make it a lil easier for me to type fast paced like that..

    Love ya and miss ya

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Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
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I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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