Saturday, September 23, 2006
I want to go home!!!!!
Told you about this vitamin

And music is a cure.....Well it can help raise cash too!

*****limp biskit:Make a bridge********
You know when I start an update with 2 links I am trying to hide what's going on in my head...Well if you didn't, you do now. I am sick and tired of how my mental state is... I have given my mum my application for housing near the family and I am awaiting feedback from the association. Its the hardest thing that I have done. Its a sensible move as having the support of my family a friends is very important to me. It does mean so many things.

1. The Jen situation..
Being in Manchester means she 'could' visit as the public transport to get here is great. Rail, Coaches, Airport and motorways all link through here. Its the centre of the country and she could get here from where ever she is. I know that the relationship will end when I leave and finding a real girl like her outside the city that's not married or attached is mission impossible(or improbable). I met Sinead there for gods sake!

2. The medical field..
Some of the best research for ms is here in this country. Some of the best neuro's are here and most of the training is done here. Even when I move I will find that I will have to come back here for treatment.

3. The job/Emma situation.
The possibility of me returning to my old job is gone. It will effect the money issue(and I don't know how!), the savings plan I have release the payment check to my address here in Manchester.(I know how to get it delivered to another address but that's hassle I don't need!) If I move and my wages stop and in turn may invalidate my savings plan! I will never 'bump' into Emma again and will loose any possible contact with her. That just sucks. At this moment in time its like a kick in the nuts that she will never be a friend again.....There is always a possibility the we could meet up here in Manchester..I go and that possibility is gone! Its a regret and I need to cut back on them don't I?

4. Live music/Concerts/Live events.
Being in St Annes cuts down on the possibility that I could go to any. I would have to travel to the nearest city to go with a family member. I love them all and it would be great to get some of them out to a gig but it wouldn't be the same without Jen dancing next to me! That's just the icing on the cake. I know that friends up there will be able to go with me, But I would like them to be there on their there own merit and not feel like they were 'taking me'.

I know its new and exciting and I should be happy to go just for the amazing support....But these points are out weighing the benefits at the moment. Maybe its my lack of cash that causing the low....No it can't be fixed with a cash enema. I just need some time to work it out. Having weekend to myself is not helping. Just need to build a bridge to the happy side of life again.

Hope you are all well.

P.S 2 New additions to the blog roll Michelle(Alaska) and Charles(Charles has a podcast too!) I wish we had met under different circumstances but you are both welcome.
posted by personallog! @ 1:03 pm  
  • At 6:31 pm, Blogger Charles-A. Rovira said…

    Hello Dave,

    this disease sucks rocks and spits flaming flatulence doesn't it.

    I've had it for about simply yonks.

    My first episode was in high shool. I didn't know why my handwriting went to Hell in Mr Miller's history class. I just accepted that my handwriting now resembled a doctors'.

    My next episode occured some fifteen years later. That's when I was officially diagnosed. After five weeks at the Ottawa General hospital, I recovered and "made something of myself." (I'm even Google-able :-)

    But the last episode, in 1997, left me needing a cane and walking real s-l-o-w.

    Rather than going back into denial, I painted it my cane red (the color of warning in nature) and got on with life in general.

    Because I've always been a media geek, I've had a podcast (at: MSBPodcast> since February of this year and its been quite cathartic as well as filling my life (and I hope my audience's) with podsafe music.

    You should really be careful to secure podcasting rights for any music you perform or link to. I know you don't think that the RIAA's insane rules apply to you but they can always tell their 'friends.' They are even suing old grandmothers and the dead over coryright violations. (I'm not arguing the wisdom of suing your ultimate clients. I'm just warning you that it happens.)

    As for the "girl friend" situation.

    Don't give up hope.

    I've been married, twice, with this disease.

    People are in general blind, deaf and quite, uh, dumb, when it comes to falling in love.

    As long as you can fullfill an inner need, you will be desirable; and to find out what that need is, you have just to listen more than you moan.

    Stay cool dude! (It keeps the noise in your nervous system down.)

  • At 9:11 pm, Blogger Michelle said…

    Great Music!

    I agree with the guy above, you CAN find someone even if you have MS. My 1st husband could'nt accept the MS, he left. I though no one would want a broken down me but I met a guy, told him the WORST when I realized he was interested in me. His face went white, he was speech-less and I thought that was that last I would ever see of him. That was 8 years ago, we have been married for 7 years now. The disease sucks, don't become the disease.

  • At 9:27 pm, Blogger personallog! said…

    Welcome Charles and Michelle its always great to see new people here and I thankyou for the kind comments. I will be coming to read your blogs/Podcast. If you would like me to link you on the right here do please just ask. It would be my pleasure.


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Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
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I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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