Saturday, January 21, 2006
The beautifull people!
****Mariylin manson:Beautiful people****

Got a text from Jen this morning that said she had been up all night in hospital because of her boyfriend! He had tried to take an overdose....is she going to leave him now.....????? Who knows? What a beatiful person! Did he do it because of me? Did he do it because of me and Jen or is it a cry for help? As if there isnt enough on my plate give me some more shit to deal with! Is there supposed to be so much crap in the world that we arnt suppose to have it easy?

This is too much for me to deal with I feel the need to run away and start again! This is too dark a place for me to get on with my life I need to see light at the end of the tunnel! I need to get rid of this disease.....I need to get a beer in me and drown this.....when can I have some peace from this nightmare that is my life! I need to get the lust for life back! (Damb iggy Pop!) But he is right! I think its the basis for PMA isnt it! I think I need to concentrate on me for a bit if she isnt going to leave him.....How can I be good for someone else if I am not looking after me! Listen to my heart....it says build a wall to protect yourself...then build a box and climb in lock yourself away and hope for the best! What would you do in this situation? I need help before I loose my mind! I dont want to do the normal quotes....If you love someone set them free...there are plenty more fish in the sea....I love her and want her here! Do I have the right to be with someone with this disease...Do I have the right to be happy? I really am having trouble with this! Can I walk away from happyness with this walking stick? This place is too familiar....how women scar me....Sinead all over again! Pain in every color....is single life where I want to be at all....I think the answer is no! How can I consider marrage when she has someone else to look after? If it was a kid it would be different, they are part of the person....but a boyfriend?

Trauma! I think a hair cut is needed! bring on the speed dating(like thats not a good idea Dave!) The comedy club is probly a better idea! I can pull myself out of this I am sure....I have out of worse!(on a daily basis!)

Confussed(I promise no more marlyn manson! It should be the Cure really!)
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 2:29 pm  
2 Comments:
  • At 5:55 pm, Anonymous some_maineiac said…

    oh yeah, dave, Iggy Pop...i may be an old fart, but I love his music and your post inspired me to immediately put on "Brick by Brick"

    "everybody needs a home" and you can build everything (metaphorically speaking) "brick by brick"

    Thank you! I have not listened to this for a while!!!!

     
  • At 8:40 pm, Blogger amanda said…

    Dave~~ Yes you deserve to be happy with this disease!!!! Everybody deserves to be happy no matter what!!!

    Hop things get better SOON!!

     
Post a Comment
<< Home
 
ms....not just a diary
About Me

Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

More of ME
ms/disabilty reads
Family
Other Interests
Previous Post
Archives