Sunday, January 30, 2005
Looked up a new word to describe what I am going through, I have an impairment, rather than 'I am disabled'!
The concise Oxford dictionary:

Impair: damage or weaken. n. impairment

I am Defective. Having a defect. Imperfect maybe!

Tell me someone who isn't! Maybe thats the key! Stop looking for the faults, execpt them and get on with it!
Well My g/f is going on a walk for ms, sponsored walk to raise money for the ms society. Dead proud! Even if she will be away for a weekend! She is doing this with a group from her work 18 of them!

what have I done.........raised a tenner(£10). I would do the walk but I am impaired!

The the way. Was great! I you get a chance to see them go and take the kids! We went with my parents and my Nana, she has wanted to see them all her life. Gobsmakingly great fun for all the familly! The acrobats wernt impaired in the slightest! I thought some of them had bendy bones but not impaired at all!

Thank you all for your suggestions yesterday on how to raise some funds.....lh will do!
Might need some more idea's tho! Just the idea's please!

Hope everyone is ok!

posted by personallog! @ 11:26 am   4 comments
Friday, January 28, 2005
holidays start here!
Well holiday is the wrong word......just time off without being ill!
I know I am still ill with this damb disease but I feel better taking it a scheduled days off! I will be trying to update every day seeing as there has been over 200 people gracing me with thier presence! (not everyone has left a message, but I think about you all going through the same stuff)

I think I will be spending some time thinking about how to raise some money for an ms charity.......has anyone got any idea's that dont involve:
Running a marathon.
Jumping out of a plane......Well would concider!
Knitting a junper!
Having a yard sale!
Washing windows, cars or dishes!
Nude have to be joking!

I know that doesnt leav much but I feel the need to do some thing while I never know It might make some differance in finding a cure! I know its a difficult thing to discuss but I am not going to wait for a cure to be found! I need to do some thing! has the right idea but I can't exactly do that! I like the internet and surfing it but you cant get paid for that can you?

Well I have a week to think about it but any help would HELP. I am feeling good today so I best do somthing know before ms shows it ugly head! Please leave suggestions here dont just read and leave! ANYTHING will be tried! I will leave picture on here too as proof! (my god what am I doing?!?!?!?)
Be nice!

posted by personallog! @ 2:55 pm   7 comments
Thursday, January 27, 2005
Well only one more day let this week....
I know its thursday and anything could happen tomorrow, but I have only got one day left this week and then its a weeek off doing nothing for my birthday! 29 years old! And I am still smiling with this thing on my case! I might not put an update on the 2nd of Feb as I am determined to have a birthday not feeling sad about ms and I want to forget it for a day!....well the intension is there anyway!

Ithink my week off will be spent making myself feel good and looking good!(well I cant look any worse looking like a young drunk without the smell of alcohol) I might pop up and see the folks as they are down here at one point to seethe circus! Its french and I cannot spell the name but they look great on the telly! I think it will be a great start to the week off!
keep happy people!
posted by personallog! @ 2:36 pm   4 comments
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
good news! well ish!
Received good neas in the post yesterday from my nero! It statesI have progressive relapsing ms!!! Its better than it was.....I read further.......beacause I can walk 300 meters without aid!
Nero states this is better than last visit and proves relapse!

I still have ms but its not as quick......hmm dont know how to take it but I suppose its better news than before. I just have to tell my faily the Well you can hardley say " Great news I have ms" That is sort of rubbing it in.
Reply "We know dave!"

Good thing happened at work today, they have advised that I have 17 days holidays left to take before the end of holiday year (finishes for march in in my company). Work said I can take Febuary off or get paid for them and take 5 days off! I am starting to think this company doesnt want me there! I allready have a week booked for my bithday....... and 17 days before march 1st would give me a month off! I feel like I would be cheeting the place if I take more time off so I dont know what to do!

I think I will ask sinead.......She will be working from home at some point and I dont want to get under her feet!

So I guess thats it for now.....maybe this year will bring me good luck......It cant be any worse than last year!
posted by personallog! @ 2:51 pm   2 comments
Sunday, January 23, 2005
I am never taking eriks girls word ring my arse! didn'teven do the propose thing and it was so wrong!Ring size........... wrong
Timing...............wrongIf I wasn't such a fool......wrong!
Ok I didnt ask! I! Once burned twice shy!

On a lighter note....I am dead proud of how many people have visited this site! Its nice to see the site counter going up! (131 last count)............I suppose you want good content now..............ehh? Tough!
You get me! My life with this!

It has been a friendly way.....if I would like to talk to a phycologist just so I dont end up shouting down the phone to a customer.....hmmm! Might put that off for a while, dont know if that would help or not! I think I would rather have a punch bag and a public beating!(so I will continue with this!)

Look if I dont find something to laugh about soon I will search for an english teacher to improve my spelling!........... Then you all be in trouble!
posted by personallog! @ 11:25 am   3 comments
Thursday, January 20, 2005
back at work today
Hello all, I have just returned from work and I am knackered. Update from yesturday...... had phone call from my nero saying he has received mail from my job to request info on my condition.....I had been told from work that this would happen....he wanted to know if it was ok to fill in and return to work.....This was fine by me as I had signed permission before....the thing was he asked me a question which scared me, He said "would you like me to sign you off work?"
If that was my g.p I would have said "I havent been off today!"
As it was my nero I asked him to say it he did.! He was asking me if I would like to be signed off work for ever...........!

Tueretts section!
Oh my F*cking god! You have to be f*cking with my head! Not F*cking yet! I am god?!?!?!?!?
Tueretts over!


As you may have guess I said I would like to return to work and show people I am still a functioning man! I want to be independant and pay my bills. I want to clear my dept and leave my mark on the world which my family and loved ones will remember me by, and be proud to have known me....
I know there will be a load of you out there who say you will be round for a long time yet Dave! But come on I think god is telling me to hurry up and sort your life out!

Mixed feelings today but I guess you can see it too!
At least my back is feeling a bit better.....I do get a feeling like somone is removing sellotape from my back tho. sort of sticky when I move but its under the skin.....weird!
hope all is well with every one take care of each other!
posted by personallog! @ 2:31 pm   2 comments
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Got some post today.....
I got mail advising of my next trip to the hospital for Mitoxantrone (lovley blue smurf blood in a bag) March 16th! Great news.......not!
posted by personallog! @ 2:49 pm   0 comments
well its my second day off....
Another oppertunity to watch day time telly....dam!
Back still really hurts, I feel such a fool for falling so hard. There is a good side to today....honest! I have just been watching a show on tv called Trisha! Its a bit like Opra in the states but with phycologists on the program. It was dealing with how people handle giving care to thier carers. The whole focus was on one statment....
Person who needs care: "I couldnt function without them!", " I love this person, I hope they dont leave"
It got me I trap my carer? More importantly do I trap my G/F?
I think I need to get her a present or something! Its coming up to are aniversary soon 5 years(longest relationship!)
I am sure she will kick my ass when she reads this! I think I need to get back to work soon or I will turn into vegtable.... day time tv is bad for your to go there is a special on terets!
hope you all well.
posted by personallog! @ 10:45 am   4 comments
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
After last nights work again. It seem to be more than a scrape. Feels like I am having my spine removed.....piece by piece! phoned in work. Made coffee. went back to bed! I not going to say anything. Just in case!
posted by personallog! @ 1:31 pm   0 comments
Monday, January 17, 2005
roll on the second...
Well I started the second week today!
Hmm not to sure what I am supposed to say about a day much like last week.
I came home and the legs went...fell over in bathroom and landed on towel rail scraping my back! Nasty mark and hurts like will have to do better to stop me!.....maybe I should say that a bit quieter just in case. Well bring it on............but be nice about it!
Met a new work collegue who doesnt know what ms is! job is not to educate the masses so I shut up and went about my day.........they gave me a strange look when they saw me walking towards them.
Need a stick or somthing! hope this doesnt get worse this week!
posted by personallog! @ 8:45 pm   1 comments
Saturday, January 15, 2005
last year pic!

me in goa standing up! without aid! Posted by Hello
posted by personallog! @ 1:55 pm   2 comments
Well full week done at work!
I did it! Full week of days without any hick ups! probley the wrong word to use there.....I have got rid of the hick-ups too! I dont know what next week has for me but at least I feel proud of myself....if only for a day!
Its nice to have that feeling!

I even had a drink mind week! The hang over just felt like normal and went to work as normal!
I am a far time off going night clubing or any thing....Its just a weird feeling! I know my life is going to be different from here on in, but I am hoping for it to return to some normality! For my girlfriend and me. We will be happy! I am going to fight this for I am going to fight this for me...for my life with her!

Soppy I know but I want to live life not watch it happen arround me! Hope you all ok and fighting your own battles.
Keep smiling!
posted by personallog! @ 10:05 am   0 comments
Thursday, January 13, 2005
sorry about the delay.....ish!
Wel I have just returned from my 4th day at work......yeah! ! more day to go then I have a full week!!!! Oh ok I know I am only doing half days but in no time at all I will be..... Hmmm I think you all know where I am coming from....
I think what I will do is go from 1 day to the next and push myself to do the extra step. go one further than yesterday. I AM GOING TOO STICK 2 FINGERS UP AT MS! ITS NOT GETTING ME! I have a life and one thats going get better not worse!

I think next time I do an update I will not listen to hard tecno! I carried away very those dam drums! good speach tho! It is right tho! Why should we give up! I am not! I just have letters after my name and a bit of drunken/dislexic walk! So what!
I am still alive and wanting more...

The bad days are bad....but the good days are just going to get better!

keep you chin wait keep you head above it!

posted by personallog! @ 2:23 pm   4 comments
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Back at work!!!
starting with half days and they are still knacking me! not looking forward to full days but its on the cards!
I wish there was a way I could work from home without getting on Sinead's nerves! I know I mhave to look at the bright side and get on with it but life is too hard! Need a laugh now! How sh*t is this disease! not had a drink for a while but I can hear day time telly calling, so may need one closer than next weekend. still no picture on this thing!.....
hope life is treating you better than me!
posted by personallog! @ 11:10 pm   2 comments
Sunday, January 09, 2005
found somthing to laugh about!
just found an english site!!! I though I was the only one effected over here
check this out:
I had linked to this site via msrc site over here! It made me laugh! Oh I still cant get my picture on here. thinking of changin the web page name to the masked avenger!
I have had the hiccups for 3 days any suggestions..........anyone?
posted by personallog! @ 3:09 pm   6 comments
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Still cant get picture up here!
physio.....poo! Filled in forms and had welcome chat!
Hang over bad! Alcohol will never be touched again.............untill next time.
Scarey link yesterday... still not wanting stick but I think I need one! Physio thinks it will help!
Not looking forward to work on monday....but I have to return the plague to the call centre asap! Having the plague sucks But drinking this coffee like my life depens on it!
Yes I need help with the picute thing............I used to work in I.T I could metwork companies on either side of the country but putting a picture on my blog is proving to be b*tch!
Forgive this update! You just need to know where my head is....I am sure you have all been there even if you dont drink! The plague sucks!

posted by personallog! @ 2:36 pm   3 comments
Friday, January 07, 2005
I have just tried to get my photo on here
having a bad day today, cant get things to work right and I am seeing the phsio today! great! I just know she will be getting me to do exercising. I am nursing a hang over too! drank far to mush beer for a ms sufferer. Drinking tonight too. will let you know more when I can see again. not looking forward to the physio at all!
posted by personallog! @ 2:20 pm   0 comments
Well here is my ugly holiday photo! The bag is sineads! Holday last year in India! Posted by Hello
posted by personallog! @ 2:16 pm   0 comments
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Well am I back at work yet...?
going back to work on th a good start to the year! My GP just seems to be waiting with a pen when ever I call or visit. I dont know weather he is feeling bad about mis-diagnoses for such a long time(I know he is not the one who has the equipment/gives diagnoses...but!) or he feels sorry for me.......I dont care! he is a really good doctor and I thank and shake his hand every time I see him!
wait a minute is that the first good point about having ms...getting signed off work?
I have also recieved a call today from occupational heath today. they wanted to know how bad it is and what help I will need to return to work.......hmm, I guess I have had a lot time off. I think I will have to bite the bullet and get a stick.
I have a meeting with the ms physo on friday...he/she is the person to speak to with regards to the public marking of a walking stick. Its not that I have viewed people with sticks as second class citizens or anything. Its just that I am strangly paranoid about how people see me.
Yes it will help walk but.......I guess you guys know!
I will have to try harder to keep my chin up and think more globally as well.
keep smiling
posted by personallog! @ 6:38 pm   5 comments
Monday, January 03, 2005
Well what next I hear you scream!
Happy new year everyone! hope that illness is not knock at your door...what ever the illness!
I have had a good xmas and new matter the flu and and ms. My new year resolution is to not type ms in capitals! It doesnt deserve it! It has been good to see everyone in the family (cheers pocketpunk) and its been good to see friends too! Even tho there were some people who I hadn't met before They all knew I had ms! so I didn't feel to embarised. It was funny!
Having flu isn't going down well in my house at all. my girlfriend also has flu so we are a snotty in this house. At least she doesnt have the ms legs! I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
I felt the need to carry on the blog after my last update. After the disaster in the east...somthing is telling me life goes on and we need to carry on! Its like have a death in the family....I am sure there is upset and depression...there allways will be but...we have to fight together for a better life so that we can so the best momrail to the many who have died! We cannot stop the world falling apart on are own! Let start on ther small things first! I hope that everyone is donating something for the fight against the following disease and plight. I am!
At the end of the day life goes on. We can make the life we have together better by getting on with it!
Right I am getting off the podeum now! Lets start this year to make it better than last year......It cant be worse!
I have no other new year resolutions apart from I will love my g/f more1 I will fight fight this disease more! I will carry on having a LIFE! I will try and laugh every day and last but not least.....I will try and get more people to laugh with me...even if that means showing my ugly ass here on the blog!
posted by personallog! @ 1:08 pm   4 comments
ms....not just a diary
About Me

Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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