Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I am getting better........honest!
This is for someone who needs a smile upon your face! Sort it out beeeach!lol

***Colplay:God put a smile apon your face***

oh yeah music getting back to things I know and love! This tune brings back so many good feelings...my own smile back to my face! Looking back it reminds me of the fist feeling of freedom in my own flat! I believe I said good Vibes! and look where I have got today!lol Same chair same pc same room....on different drugs now and I am going to jump out of a plane next weekend to raise funds! Something is telling me that I am on the up but not quite there yet....soon very soon! I am going to kick some ass soon! It all in the music trust me! "Where do we go, no body knows!".

I am still off work at the moment as legs not playing! But to use Joels mantra "keep moving" and I will be soon! Just watch this space!
Hope you like the tune and you are all well!
Dave

Just rang in sick to work this morning and my team manager told me a whole team in the call centre are going to a parachute jump in the future! They were motivated by the posters I put up! Looks like my work might have to pay out some more money for us! Pound for pound what a good idea eh!hehe
posted by personallog! @ 9:26 am   2 comments
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
For Jen....
I wish I could be the man that would help you make the desision! The music request is by Jen...
***Goo Goo Dolls:Iris***

OOOHHH I forgot to show you this it shows Nizlopi video for JCB! I started listening to this the first time I started talking to Jen online!
Hope you like guys! Being in love is starting to suck! The music is starting to make me feel even more!

Hope you like!
Dave

Holiday quotes:
17. NEDS(Non Educated Delinquent)
18. A THREE Story Boooooob!!!!!
19. I look like sh*t!
20. That fire extinguisher is giving me the horn!
21. I have 20 scotish pounds(please do bare in mind its still legal tender..and we were in scotland too!)
posted by personallog! @ 3:52 pm   4 comments
Monday, November 28, 2005
It snows instead of rain.....grrrr
1st day of a new week and its cold really...cold! I don't know whats better the hot or the cold! To hot from the heating and I get spasms if I turn the heat off I cant get out of bed! Dambed if you do and dambed if I don't! Just dambed then yeah! Well look at the good Dave.....I have some great tunes copied from the family and some great coffee in the cuboard! I have some great Jam that my mam made and I am going to start every day with it on toast,hmmm goosebry jam on toast and a cup of coffee! I think humans need to go into hibenation or something coz this cold isn't natural! I have had alot of time to think over the weekend and I know that isnt good for me. I know I have started loads of things here and not kept up with it...for example:

Diet:What am I eating? What recipies/idea's for..?
Fund raising:Whats next? How much so far? And should I be putting money into anything in perticular(study ect!)?
Music:Have I learnt to play any thing yet? Am I showing a good scale of what I am listening(currently Micheal Brecker:Wide Angles, Favorite track has to be Broadband!) too if I am asking for requests? How can I get a audio only on my blog and do I need permissions?
Film Reviews:Whats the next movie to watch and when?
Life goals(like driving!): Am I doing the right thing with Jen,should I be? Should I try and force the issue(err no!) Should I still be looking for Mrs Right? Pull my finger out and look at driving! Save money and get the modified car I want? Return to work or find another job?
Comedy: Have I really thought this through am I able to make people laugh(without a gun at there head!) Watching Bill Hicks at the moment and what a guy!And am I able to...
Write a book...Do you have the capacity to? Can you concerate enough to get it written down?(Currently reading:Darkly Dreaming Dexter:by Jeff Lindsay,Suggested by a fellow ms'er! You know who you are!great book so far thanks for this!)

The main questions I am asking:
Whats it all about? What is this life? What does WHY mean and why am I asking?

I will let you know when I find out! Being an agnostic really is a pain!

Hope you are all well!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 12:21 pm   3 comments
Sunday, November 27, 2005
family weekend!
I asked my little bro what he would want on here and he said this:
****Ramstein:amerika***

Well I thought it was cool!hehe! Got to love the family!

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 5:52 pm   3 comments
Friday, November 25, 2005
Emotional flip flop
I think it must be a music thing! I have found the only way to turn the down side up is to go back to some great tunes! I was in a really bad place yesturday and it wasnt untill I sifted through 27 different tunes that I got back to Dresden Dolls that I picked up my sorry ass and felt like wrighting this! I am back in a good place now. I have things to look forward too! I have good days to come!



Sorry if it is repeating music but I think its worth it! Bring on the jump, bring on the weekend, bring on the next Jen visit!!!!!!!
Its hard but I can do this!....cant I?
***What does a man with two left feet wear on his holidays? He has a pair of flip flips!****(I didnt say I was going to be any good Hehe!)
Hope your all ok
Dave

Holiday Quotes:
13.Here is my Clout
14. A Gental day filled with ROCK!
15. Dyslexia is a sign of a diseased yohoff!
16. I like my beer like I like my women...Lumpy!!
posted by personallog! @ 1:13 pm   0 comments
Thursday, November 24, 2005
This is a low!
Vid changed from blur to this! Requests will be found and played! cheers dad you have bought me out of a slump!

Would anyone miss me if I wasnt here? Dont answer that! I know there is people all over the world who would but after the hospital visit yesterday and meeting new people with the disease I am starting to think of what the next step for me will be! I know I cant stop it, I know I can make it easier for others if I keep myself away...but this sucks! I didnt think today was going to be a liveley update! I feel like sh*t! I dont even have the energy to be angry at this! Tomorrow will be different......honest!
Enjoy the music!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 12:45 pm   4 comments
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The calm before the storm
I have decided to do tomorrows update before it happens! A few reasons:

1. I am going to feel like sh*t tomorrow night!
2. I promised a good friend and fellow ms'er (Jakie!)that I would put a music request on here!
3. Jen likes it too!

****NIN:The perfect drug***(was here!)
I love NIN they have done so many tunes from my early music education that they should have been here before now!(Before I get too crazy with music in the future!) The tune is to high light the drug I am getting in the morning.....well I couldnt find a smurf tune video for you! I know its going to do me some good and I will feel the benifits of it soon but I am not looking forward to the sickness!

I hope you all like the tune!
Dave

Oh forgot to add holiday quotes:
11.Would you kindly activate the penguin magnet!
12.Napalm Death induced puberty
posted by personallog! @ 10:18 pm   2 comments
You have to be able to laugh at yourself!
I think I have found my cure for everything!...

I have read over my diary as you should do every time you think lifes is getting abit too much, abit to stressfull and a bit too...well much! The ability to laugh at 'ones' self is the healer of all embarisment! I will get to you all later!

I have been washing my smalls by hand(and thats not the punchline!haha) and I walked away from the sink with wet hands...I stunbled and put my hands out to stop my self falling. Grabbed the side and started to fall! Hand slides across the side and I moved my legs to correct my blance..I stepped in a bucket then stepped in the bowl with my clean pants in..with the other foot! Bowls moved...I did the splits and fell over! I collapsed in a heep on the kitchen floor and laughed my ass off! Slap stick rules the world When you have to pick up some boxer shorts out of the bread bin you have to laugh or cry! I laughed! I think next time I will just turn the heat up in the flat and get in a hot bath with all my clothes and enjoy the spaz attack and get all my clothes clean!lol

I think the next step for me has to be wrighting comedy before I loose this laughter! I have got a visitor tomorrow on the build up to smurf in the hospital! Maybe she will be able to laugh at me too! I will choose music in the morning! Maybe Jen will like my laundry on toast for brunch!

Smile or be smiled apon is the next step!
Dave
My favorite holiday Quotes:
8. Fangle
9.Can I tickle your finger!!
10.Im a Nukemonium (explanation will be needed! Well we got Em drunk and she doesnt drink! She was trying to say "I am a mancunian!"lol I love you both..but not in a gay way!hehe!)

Music has to be some more Dresden Dolls!

Enjoy!
posted by personallog! @ 1:08 am   2 comments
Monday, November 21, 2005
Monday blues....
I am sat here in my shirt and pants ready to do some work and....I got half way down the road and then all of a sudden it hits me....what the hell am I doing! The main motivation for going into work is still fresh in my mind and I still cant make it futher than 250 meters down the road! Damb it all to hell! Just got a text from Jen the morning too! I feel terrible! I have to find another route into work or something this takes the ****! I have money in my wallet to get a cab into work but I think the sensible thing to do is start my week on tuesday and wait for payday on wednesday! I can use this money to get a cab into work for the rest of the week. There has to be a cheaper way to get into work than cabs tho...well isnt there?
The whole driving thing is looking like a distant goal! If I could drive and had a car I could go to work, If I had saved my money in the first place I could afford to learn to drive!
At what point does this hell give some restbite? I need to get back to work!

Get back to work, can play!
Dont get back to work....life is over!

I hate ironing too!
Maybe a job where I can work from home is the answer! What the hell can I do from home! Need help with this guys! Help! my social life needs it!

Holiday Quotes:
7. Its like frosty the snowmans knob out there
8.Fangle!!!

My music today is angry.....
Nine Inch Nails:With Teeth
Korn:Life is Peachy

I will get back to work in the morning!(I need to!)
Hope your day is better than mine!
Dave

Just relised I have a hospital visit on wednesday too(Smurf blood!)! For frances sake!
posted by personallog! @ 8:26 am   5 comments
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Grr! What a weekend!
******Dresden dolls******

Second one from this band! I love them and want to get the album! They can play!
You may have read in the past that I have been listening to Biffy Cylro and thought who are they and what is the tune..My recovery injection! Well there are two video's on the link for you to check out! They have been listened too a couple of times this week! Its well worth checking out! It makes me smile every day!
I had a top weekend and I am looking forward to work in the morning! If I can only get the dredd wax out of my hair!lol!



A mad hair night!hehe!

Hope you all had a good weekend!
Dave
Holiday quotes:
5.My wrighting is like two lesbians copulating inside a mans body!
6.We might end up with hairy eggs!
posted by personallog! @ 4:37 pm   0 comments
Friday, November 18, 2005
Come here and get your pants off!
How can you argue with that comment when it comes from the woman you love!lol! What a night and it not over yet! Well it is for her. She passed out naked in my arms after she told me she loves me!woooooohoo!
This has been the best night for years....I would say the best night in my life so far! She is an amazing woman! What's the next step with her! God knows but I am so looking forward to the next step! I still haven't worked out how she smiles in her sleep! Wait up what am I doing here! I am going back to bed!hehe! She doesn't snore either! Perfect woman for me!lol

Music has been very varied but Biffy Clyro has stuck out as the last man standing!
I will update in the morning!
Dave

Scotland Quotes:
3: I need postieria scaffolding
4: Calm down baby have a piece of cheese!

Dressden Dolls:Girl Anacronism

Loving this tune!
posted by personallog! @ 10:54 pm   0 comments
The awakening, Start of something new and strange
I have allways loved Orbital! Favorite band for about 15 years, I would have loved to find one track in particular, Belfast, but this one will do! I know I have mentioned then here before but this video will save you looking for them!

I have mixed feelings today. The pain factor is big today my legs are killing me, I am not back at work today either but......I am happy really happy! I have a new...vigor for life! Got a party planed for saturday, well I say party its more like a gathering! I think what I am trying to show you all out there is that I am having a life even tho I have this disease! You can too!

There has be a cure coming up soon doesn't there! I need to shake my ass again in a club before I get to old for dance music!hehe

When I start coming down from the jen visit(she is staying for the weekend too!yey) I will have to start sorting somethings out! Getting back to work for one! I will keep the smile on for as long as I can I swear!

Hope your all good!

Dave

Oh holiday quote: The yoke is the essence of the egg!
posted by personallog! @ 9:21 am   3 comments
Thursday, November 17, 2005
how did today go???????????
***Tiesto*****
So good I am surprized you cant see the smile in the US!!! this is a tune that brings back 1 or 2 memories of an earlier life! 1 that will be mine again trust me! Put your hands in the air like you just dont care! Wooohoo!

Come on!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 9:47 pm   0 comments
Music interlude......
I havent been long up and its not long before Jen gets here, but I thought I would leave you guys with some music. Couple of things here. I would like to say thanks to my older brother for this:

Localhost two great tunes on this site!

Very jazzy! I have allways respected lh for his music tastes....I have followed him to be honest! Love ya bro!

The vids from me:

Havent herd this in years!

Pearl Jam:Alive!

Thats my tune1 I am still alive!

I am listening to Jan Garbarek this morning from my dad! Love you too! I think I am feeling a lot of love for my family today! I dont know why! I just do!(probley emotional retard Dave!hehe!)

I was going to link in some Korn today but I guess you guys know them! If not I will link it in tomorrow! Just one more mention for Nitan Swahney and then she is going to get here!

Hope you are all well!
Dave

Oh forgot to mention....over the next few days I will run through a couple of quotes from the scotland holiday! We kept a diary of quotes that made us laugh like the drunken fools we were they are numbered from 1 to 30. I am not going to appologise for them as it was from all three of us in different states of mind..(you guys can own up to them if you wish!lol)
1:Fegal Sharky rocks my socks off!
They get better the more we drank!hehe!
posted by personallog! @ 7:56 am   4 comments
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
I feel good today! I am going out !
I dont feel good because I am going out! I feel better than yesturday so I am going shopping while I can! The excersise will do me good too! I am not leaving you with music today! Choose your own!hehe! I have changed my mind here you go then

The Who!

Thats the idea! No more depression I promise!

Feel good.

Dave
posted by personallog! @ 1:02 pm   1 comments
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
I must be in recovery...My dreams are squiffy!
Last night I had a dream that I was sat in this chair....The one I am sat in now! In front of my computer listening to Biffy Clyro.....How bad is it to be dreaming about what you do every day? Like a chef dreaming about cooking. A fireman dreaming about fire...I am taking this as a sign! I need to get more life back!

The next step of recovery is usually anger....Well it is for me anyway! By the end of today I will probley have done something mad like put myself forward to jump out a plane!!!......Oh done that!haha! My only escape has been to drink! Now that is sad! I should be using this time to find another job or something! I need to grab something(Jen!hehe!),do something(oh I am trying honest!)....Get my Teeth in to something! I need to start doing quizzes or something! I need a hobby....Another one! Well lets look at the possibilities!

Walking...er no!
Running....As above!
Cycling....Exercise deffo! But I need to get the bike sorted out!
Music.....hmmm could be an idea. Its possible too!
Art...Drawing, painting, stenciling, finger painting....I will get back to this one!
My Team manager from work suggested poetry or writting a book when I was calling in sick this morning....How bored does she think I am!.....This bored Dave! ahh! Maybe this is a possiblity!

Just because I am disabled(and good looking too Dave!hehe) doesnt mean I cant do it.

I think I need to take my time with this and have a good think abouts whats right for me. What are you guys doing? I have seen a website showing some ms art and it looks cool! I could do that. There is one thing that I havent mentioned yet, Tia chi! Very interested in this! I will do some reading first and let you know!

Anyway! I leave you with something a bit different today:
Bjork: Be Quiet!

Hope you are all well!Hehe!
Dave

English legal canabis!!!yey!!! Hot off the press!!!!!!
posted by personallog! @ 8:53 am   6 comments
Monday, November 14, 2005
hmm...I keep getting emails from this mark guy!
Yet again I wake up to an email from Mark Ananski, Is this someone who hads jumped on the "cure ms" bandwagon? Has a cure been found and we are to blind to see it?

Cure for ms?check this out

Someone give me some feedback on this! Have you tried it? Yet again its something that points towards diet! Just before I spend the $45 to get is sent to me! I only bring this up as its the start of a new week and I am allready getting ready to phone in sick to work! I do have to leave the house today aswell! Going to the doc's to pick up some drugs! Anyway listen to this:

Sytem of a down:Toxicity!

This video has been changed twice! Changed it from Red hot Chilli Peppers to this! Alot more anger in this! Seems apt!
Hope you like it! It reminds me of the holiday and makes me smile! I am sick of being sick! I think the mental/emotional state isnt helping! Roll on thursday!

I hope you are all better than me!
Dave

I dont normally advertise anything here but I love this advert:
posted by personallog! @ 8:22 am   6 comments
Saturday, November 12, 2005
A day of.....I dont know what!
There seem to be many more days of confusion recently! I know it has alot to do with the Jen situation and I Hope its nothing to do with ms having a different attack! What is classed as an attack anyway? Is it just a different feeling of pain or mental state of mind? If its the latter I think its hitting me hard! Do I fully commit myself to this feeling for Jen or not? To be honest.....I dont think I can stop myself! Do I want to stop...no! Is it making ms easier when she is here! Yeah!

I think the crap I went through with Sinead has really messed me up! I thought to myself that if the roles were reversed would I have stayed with her....yeah I would have done everything to make her life easier! To love her without question! I think thats why I dont speak to her anymore....she didnt love me! I think that situation is going to effect any relationship with a woman in the future! If I commit myself to the feeling of love with Jen....something is telling me to make sure she loves me too! Before I start loosing my mind over her I need to have a good think about what I want out of life now I have this disease to take in to account! It shouldnt be this hard should it?

Right sorry about the feeling down bit....it might have something to do with todays music....I have someone to thank for this.....Amanda! I bought this album when I was in scotland....Jamie Cullum:Catching Tales

Amanda reminded me of a tune on the album and it hasnt been off the cd player for a while! Cheers babe! The music will change tonight tho! I have my mate lee coming round for a beer and if Em is feeling better I hope she will be coming with bobbeh!

Strange days! Hope you are all well!
Dave


you can allways start to make requests!hehe I allways love the bass line in this tune!
And this:http://www.silverclef.com/
posted by personallog! @ 12:59 pm   3 comments
Friday, November 11, 2005
Emotional retard but finger on the pulse for great music!
I have to thank my older bro(localhost!) for introducing me to Nizlopi They have saved me from mental anguish so many times! It is the music I have listened too every time I speak to Jen on line and it brings back memories of the first days! I feel abit better about the situation this morning!(dont know why!) I have heard that Nizlopi are going for number 1 this christmas and I think they diserve too! If you get chance check out the JCB video it is fantastic! Just follow the link there! Its the best download I have seen and its free! I think I have told you all about it before but I think now I have reached over 5 thousand visits to this blog I need to tell you again! These guys are great! Honest!

I have got abit of a medical question for you all who have tryed copaxone! I have a large lump from yestdays injection and its ichy! Injected in the tummy and the site has gone red!I think I will check with the doc but it could be a thing for new starters to read if you can tell all what you think! This morning injection bled but doesnt hurt!

I am still off work and would still like to speak to others with ms! I have spoken to a few of ya so far and made some great mates! Give me a internet 'tinkle' and we can chat!

Hope you are all ok
Dave

P.s Remeberance day for world war vets!(this has been changed after I said it was for ww1 vets only! We all make mistakes!)
posted by personallog! @ 9:43 am   7 comments
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Blue day!
Jen isnt coming! Damb I have to find a girly of my own dont I!

Where do I go when I feel blue? I turn to music:

Love the Corrs and U2 so this kinda works for me! Not at work today either!

Hope you are all ok
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 11:15 am   2 comments
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
You have to have respect for this disease....
dont you? You wake one morning and feel fine....then the next morning you feel like that car did hit you in your dreams!

As you may have guessed not at work today! What can you do? Well I think I am going to relax and watch tv, listen to music(I can feel Hernan Cattaneo the dance music,god like dj!) and go about general duties today! Respect the disease.....hmm yeah!

I have had a few phone calls today from work and the insurance team for the bank that I work for.(I know they are protecting themselves as a buisness but they are here to help too!) They are now suggesting some help that I think ms'ers need to be aware of when your returning to work or getting help from if your in work. There is a mention of The Shaw Trust and the work they do! I need to read into this but it has been said that they can help. Any help is good help isnt it? I have to get back to work and earn money so I can do the things that I want to do in my life.

Work to live not live to work! This has allways been my moto and is even more evident today. If I want to learn to drive I am going to need the money to do so! Getting back some mobility would be a massive hit back at ms, even on a par with the jump,well personaly anyway. I know we all have are own fight when it comes to any disablity, it just turns out that mine is public, If I find out anything that might be a benifit I will let you know. I hear that I could get money of my cab fair if I am trying to get to work! I need to speak to some people to get more info(if your in this country please let me know!) but as soon as I do I will put it down here!

I think I need to start fighting this disease in a different way or at least get more people involed in my fight! time for a three rule thing:
1.Having Confidence
2.Being Possitive
3. Except help, Get help

Hope your all ok
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 10:31 am   2 comments
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
What a day! Happy Birthday Vicky!xx
Ok so I didnt do a full day but I have started collecting some money in for the jump on the 10/12....I added the total with the help of my team manager....

Drum roll please............so far its over £1000.00 and if you add whats on the internet site to the right>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> it is looking good!

But I dont think its good enough....I want to get more! Well dont you? I have spent more time in the house than at work and if I can raise a grand by doing....well this Imaging what you could do! Imagine what I could do if I actually went to work! I still have forms out to collect at work too! I have forms all over the country now my family have started (the timing was my fault but cheers guys!).....oh and how many of us could do this? There id 2 million people out there and the numbers are growing daily! We can beat this if we work together!

Right of the podeum! (well its my diary too!lol). I got a text from Jen today saying she is coming for the weekend! 2 days and I think that is great news! I wont tell you what the rest of the text said but it sounds great to me!More happy Dave coming up me thinks! I am so in the mood to celebrate!

Got the weekend planned with the boys too! They get here on friday night and that will be the time to get drunk!hehe! Its one of my ex's birthday today so good vibes to Vicky! Not Vixpics!

Todays music has to be for her tho!:The drugs dont work by the Verve. I remember sitting getting drunk with her and a group of friends singing at the top of are voices!

Hope you are all well!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 3:34 pm   2 comments
Monday, November 07, 2005
Am I in the school of hard knocks????
Half day at work today! I am not happy! I have spiraling debt and I want to do so much more with my life and need money that I am not donating to charity! In pain today so I am going to have the illegal pain killer and relax! The first hour of the day and I have got £15 toward the jump! Got the taxi in to work and the driver put some in!(dont ask me how!) I am sick of taking the kicking from this disease! I have enough mental trauma with out the pain! Dropping the jazz for today! Time for angry Dave to kick some ass!

*****Link can be found at videocode.com******

Hope you enjoy the vid! I think we(ms'ers!) are in the hard school! This track was given to me by Jen(head still mashed by her!!!)! I have to find a job that I can do from home! Any idea's.....anyone!If I could get paid for doing this blog I would leave my current job straight away! Music reviewer! Movie critic! Artist!(not piss artist...but that would be ok too!) I want to work from home! I need to get in toucxh with a social worker and sort something out!Any english readers out there doing anything that I am not? Get in touch please! I am having a get together tomorrow with Em and bobby and this weekend cant come fast enough! I have a want to get even with disease soon! This jump is so going to be done at high speed! Need the next challenge idea's to start rolling in soon! Before I jab myself with that damb needle in the morning!

Hope your all better than me! A very angry
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 2:36 pm   0 comments
And all that jazz!
Spent the weekend at the family home with so many thoughts running through my head about the last year! The good, the bad and the ugly! I think this weekend starting with the beutifull Jen hasnt helped!

I know I love her, Thats for sure but I am so confussed! I am causing her some mental problems making her thinking about the relationship she has with the boyfriend...that doesnt do me any favors either! Am I worth her changing the unhappy situation she has? I want to be! Is ms a problem when trying to start a new relationship....deffo! Do I know the next step for this disease.....god damb it no! Does anyone? How can I change me to help! Do I need to! Is ms even an issue when it comes to this? Isnt it the same for everyone regardless of disability? Well...

I have got some great music from my dad! The jazz monster!hehe

Jan Garbarek
Micheal Brecker
Mike Mawueri
Heavy Shift

I love each one of them! Music in it best format! Jazz! Europe jazz too! If anyone can tell me names to check out I will! Bobbeh told me to check out Stuart Mccallum and he is amazing! I am a jazz infant but want to listen to more! I think any music is worth a listen...if its great then fine, if its poo then I can allways turn it off.

There isnt much I dont like tho! Life and all that Jazz!hehe

Hope you are all ok
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 12:05 am   0 comments
Friday, November 04, 2005
Something tells me the 5th wasnt to be!
Just had a call from the air field saying the Land strip os water logged and they need to change the date of the jump! Got to choose another date tho!

10th December!!!!!!!!!!!

Gives me more time to raise more cash I suppose! I had just got myself worked up to it too! Bummer! I really want to do it now! Back to work on monday to fight the fight and face the embarisment of not doing it yet! I suppose getting insurance for it now might be a good idea!hehe! Today has been great apart from this!

I have spent the day with the most beutiful woman and loving every second of it! Jen is fantastic and I feel like a real man with her....and not the disabled heap I am usually! She gives me all the power I need to be......well me +! I have never felt like this before I am sure! Its a shame that.....she is taken. I can live in hope can't I? The question really is "what am I hoping for?"

I have spoken to some amazing people today too! Amanda>>> on msn messenger! Big respect to anyone who can raise 3 kids in this hell which is ms! They are beutiful as you are too!(the short hair suits by the way!) Bobbeh who plays the best walking stick lead guitar ever!hehe! By text!

Todays music is a mixed up as the situations are:

Stuart Mccallum
Korn:Twisted
H.I.M (for the goth mistress):Dark Light

That aside I am still going to the family home as planned to get really drunk and celebrate not falling!ha! My longest friend Steve has joined the RAF(Royal air force!) and leaves after the weekend! Good luck mate and take care out there(where ever out there is!)

Hope you all ok
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 7:18 pm   4 comments
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Driver Mobility search! Got to love the internet!
I have read over yesterdays update and I am thinking driving might be abit....well hard to do! I know I am loosing my balance and cant really keep my feet on the pedals. So how else could I drive?(failed the test due to control with acelerator!) Nearly had a tear(or two) When it struck me! There must be another way...there allways is! How about a mechanism to drive with hands only(yeah and on my head!lol)! Check the biggest libary in the world dave! The internet! How do other disabled drivers get about,what adaptions are available....and the most important,can you learn to drive in an adapted car?
Why not! I have to look into it! Dont I? Yeah ok I am admitting publicly that I have a disablity by driving a car with the stickers on it! But god damb it! I am walking with a stick and do I care what others think of me? Will I be safe and cause a danger to others? I would like to think I wouldnt harm anyone else ever! Getting some sort of mobility back must(sorry for this!) be a step in the right direction.
At first look through google, you get alot of sites for wheelchair drivers and how to get access into a car/van...must be another search...then BINGO!...found this beuty

I can do it! I can learn to drive! It will cost an arm and a leg to do so, but yeah I can do it!
About halfway down the page is this:'Melvyn’s story
42 year old Melvyn spent three years in the Royal Artillery before contracting Multiple Sclerosis. After a course of training with BSM Mobility instructor Jeff Mustard, Melvyn successfully passed his test. Through the Motability scheme he acquired his own car with adapted hand controls and steering knob.'

Lets get the Jump out the way first if I am 2 inches tall after it there wont be much point!hehe!(It would be so much easier if I could drive to the jump sight tho!)

Todays music has to be Biffy Clyro:My recovery injection
Hope you all are well
Dave

Excersise...in the nude no way(not a rude link)!
posted by personallog! @ 8:39 am   4 comments
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
The start of a new year with this!
Woke this morning with mixed feelings, yes I am looking forward to doing the jump and my site for donations is growing allmost every day....but I want to be doing more!

I want my life to be more.To mean more! Does that make sence? I have spent the last hour looking at mobility sites because I want to be able to learn how to drive again. I was learning when ms showed its face so I stopped. But why? I am human and have the right to get on with life, dont I? I would love to drive up to my parents house from Manchester and stay over. I think that would be a massive challenge. I would love to own my own car. I think the motivation for this is seeing Emma getting on with things dispite having a stick! Driving all the way up to Scotland and back I think she diserves a medal! Why can I? It will be expensive to start again so even more motivation to get back to work and earn some money. It would make my life so much easier too. Driving to the shops instead of ordering food over the internet would be great! I know getting a disabled sticker for a car would be easy enough....guess what color it is.....BLUE smurf blood returns hehe!

If I can jump out of a plane....driving wont be so much of a challenge would it? I think I am just looking for the next step! the next challenge! This is where Kim usually jumps in with something bizar! Not this time please! I want to start something for me first....oh go on then give something else as well!lol! Lets start the new year with some great challenges:
Get back to work!
Driving!
Raising more money
Go back to school
Get your hair cut hippy
Look after yourself better,Diet,smoking,staying happy,excersise!
Music music music MUSIC!!!!

We will see! Dont know about you but I am looking forward to what next ms year brings.

Todays music has to be: Cafe Del Mar....just the best of album, chilled but exciting at the same time, Very like Nitan Sawheney in parts.

Anyway hope you are all well
Dave


New morning Dave!

P.s Just doing the rounds this morning and found some new to me blogs. All of which will be added to my regular reads on the right>>>>
Tai chi
http://mstaichi.blogspot.com/
Michelle
http://objectofmyinjection.blogspot.com
Pamela
http://lookingforwardwithms.blogspot.com
Tin ribs
http://tinribs.blogspot.com
Doug lee
http://shoester.blogspot.com
Carrie
http://autoimmunelife.blogspot.com
Brandy
http://thissucksms101.blogspot.com

Worring but glad to see you guys have the balls to do this too!
Dave
posted by personallog! @ 10:21 am   3 comments
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
1st year of IT compleated today! Happy f*cking birthday ms!
Other anivesaries today are ofcourse the blog being 1 year old, 1/2 year since the Sinead break up, 6 months of being in this flat, 1 year of the scarey research into this disease and best of all......1 year of knowing the the best people in the world! Here is to the next 50 years!!!!!!!!!!!!

09:00 in the am and I am having a shot of scotlands finest whiskey! An Isley to start the day(lagavulin 16 year old!)! Depressed...er no! I have a beautifull goth coming round on friday! I have my shopping being delivered today, I have the finest collection of cd's and the biggest smile on my face! Honest! I have survived the 1st year! I am not a sufferer I am choosing to be a survivor!(and an alchoholic!hehe!) They say misery loves company....well I am rather glad that I am on my own today! Just going to chill!

I have another delivery of copaxone today too! What a day to choose for delivery! I got a backwash with my injection this morning, I think I hit somthing big! Its stopped bleeding now!

Anyway.....music for today is going to be Red hot chilli peppers I think then relax into some jazz maybe! Not doing much at all!

Hope you are all well
Dave

oh...4 days till the jump!

And if you are UK based with ms please fill in the questionare It will be a great help to the trust! I have
posted by personallog! @ 8:33 am   6 comments
ms....not just a diary
About Me

Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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