Right first of all....the toys recieved yesturday were webcam and printer! You will get a pic of me tomorrow...(need you help with that stu..lh! cheers man!)
I have been to work and done 3 hours! 9 till 12:00! Back home and got pain in my legs by walking to far(know your limits dave!) Just from knee's to feet tho!?!?! Pain in stomach seems to have gone...ish! ms has left a foot print marker! No bruise but its like....pressing something into skin feeling! For example...if you take a coin and press it into your hand till you get a red mark...its like that feeling over a larger space! Dont want to focus on it,its just somthing that is there!
This weekend is going to see me drinking my wieght in beer! My mate is coming down from St Annes and we are just going to sit in doors and smoke and drink and smoke and drink! Should be a good laff!
I just know I am going to chat his ear off about Jen! He was here about two weeks ago and he is coming back! Havent seen him for a while...cause of Sinead! He didnt like her much. Now she has gone, he can come back!
Off work today....sick! I am getting a pain in my stomach,from left back all the way round to the right back! I know it has somthing to do with ms! Its not my cooking before you say it! I went to catering collage from school so I know food prep and how to cook well! I am really angry about this! It took me ten mins to get to the frount room....walking at 45 degree angle! You should have seen the walk to the frount door to pick up my new webcam and printer! Funny as hell but really painfull!
I have deleated some updates and changed what I have said on some! I dont want to offend Jen....probley a bad idea but....well! Its for the best! It doesnt change anything, I still have my memories!
I have a new toy to keep me busy today! Its just going to be a long day today!
Hope you guys out there are having a good day and the 'demon' is being nice to you!
I was doing great! Life and ms was fine! Then spoke to Sinead on msn messenger! Back to square 1! All I wanted to do was arrange to pick up the last 2 things from her! A dvd I could buy again and a bog seat!(I left one there ok!)But I broke a mates one and could do with replacing it as a gesture of good will! Then the quote that took me back 2 weeks! I lost every bit of confidence and PMA was forgotten! "Yeah you do so you should try and prolong it for as long as possible!!"
We were talking about weed but I read alot more into it! Prolong what! Like I am not going to be doing somthing for ever! I have to stop because of what! Deffo looking into it more than I should! I lost all confidence and PMA in a split second! Dont know how she did it! I dont think I will contact her again! Well she started it with email!(its up to you now Sinead!(she reads this!))-
Right important stuff:
I met Jack again! He is going to get a chess set and bring it round!(I think he will kick my ass!) Had long walk in town to pick up my travel ticket, They have moved and had to walk further! I went to the disabled meeting and am looking forward to having my say! If we do then my job will be so much better at work! For alot of people! I have my mates coming down this weekend for a drink and really really looking forward to it! The weekend after is the visit from Jen! Cant wait for that! Bring it on girl! Giving her my blog address when she comes down!(Please make comments to what I should deleate!)
Oh I have to move as the stairs are going to kill me! Todays tune:Foo fighters:All My Life! Take it easy...or however you can get it! Dave
Havent done many excersises or anything just knackered! Found somthing to wake me a bit tho! Tunes: Rage against the machine:Wake up
This was used in the Matrix right at the end! Its going to be my tune for a while...and the rest of the album too! It brings back memories of dancing in a club called Jenks!
My sister in law and my bro! Head banging in the mosh pit! Those where the days! Deffinatly a goal for me in future! Should I grow my hair again?......err no!
Physio was great, cheered me up by saying "you look happy!"
)9:00 till 12:00 all week so will be posting every day! So where did rule 5 come from....Emma! She is the only girl at work with a stick,she has a funky black one! She isnt a goth!!!! Really nice lass! The bad bit she has athritis(cronic) no thats not the bad thing...she doesnt drink!!! Sorry love not a option for me,thats my limit! Not with my family and my habbit! I would love to be a good mate to her as I feel she has the same pains that a ms'er has. I she her for being her and that counts for somthing! You go girl!
Good day today at work They put me back on phone...grrr! I can do it standing on my head it just the people who call! Feel like I am getting paid for something at least! Its all good! Tune for the day:
Elephant Talk :Tibet!(Bass line is great!) James Blunt:Your Beautiful! Foo fighters:All My Life Good music!
Just got some music through the post...Music from the movie 'Crow' staring Brandon Lee(god rest him!)
I got this as Caz from work said it was a great place to start....you will never guess but I have 3 tracks from it all ready! I guess I was a late developer or somthing!
Wierd day today! I have joined the company team for disabled workers...well I am going to a meeting anyway! Just because I am disabled (there you go...I said it at last!)doesnt mean I have to join tho! If I can do somthing for somone else...I know!
But when the team leader was explaning the meeting she said " Well its for people who are disabled and making thier life at work more confortable, Even the people where you can see there disability like you!" (My face must have changed or somthing at this point!) " and for the people who have disability where you cant see too!"
Oh great! You can see it! Need to get beer I think! Its the weekend after all. FULL WEEK DONE AT WORK!
Enjoy yours what ever your doing...dont look disabled tho! Dave
(oh tune for the day...for the women in my life deffo!:Chris Isaak-Wicked game)
start the day with 2 hours sleep from last night! (Grrr!) Goto work...meet up with Caz to give her copy of music she asked for from Jen.. Finish at Lunch time and get the best sandwich from local shop!(yeah...!) Get unexpected text message from Jen to saying "Pete's got a party to goto in 3 weeks time and if you fancy a sat night movie! (yipee!Come on easy to please!) Got a note from the post office to say there is 2 Items ready for collection at office!(yyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaahh!(I know what they are!))
Have to start cleaning flat! Ohhh no the hoover!
Tunes: Radiohead - Ok computer. Got to wipe the bad feeling from this album with the good things that are happening to me today! New start....again!
(I have one thing to say about an update which I have deleated now from last night! It was too sad to leave on the blog! I am so getting drunk this weekend, so I sleep! Having no sleep makes depression twice as bad! NEVER AGAIN!)
Dont worry I havent got another....But I wouldnt say no! I got talking to a goth at work today about meeting up with Jen and I was asking what is the best plan...Just in case I need it future! Well she said "What type of goth is she?"...there is a type! Apprently it works on the type to goth music she is listening too....there is a type? I think I am going to have to look into this!...just in case I meet up with another.(its the make up I swear!) So its down to study about goth music and what to wear....and the male makeup....err no! I am still in touch with Jen so maybe she can help! Maybe! I used to be a heavy metal freak(mosher I suppose!) So the music shouldnt be too much different...should it?
My friend at work is called Caz (Caroline!) and she is the same with her makeup! She has advised wear black(done!),purple(err ok maybe!) and wear frilly shirts(err no!) and the makeup is optional!(thank god!) You realise this is not to try and make a play for Jen! She is a close friend now and dont want to mess that up!....watch me mess this one up! Caz asked me to make a copy of the music Jen sent me and she will tell and report back! She also gave me a web address to check out!(your not getting it!) The finale thing to check....just to see if I like it...is the Crow! (I have bought the movie and will report back once watched! Please fleel free to tell me what you think!
Oh right ms...I have been to work today and they have put me on a plan! Half days for another week and then try to increase time...over the following 3 weeks! I want to do this and get back to my life asap! Its phone work but I want to earn my money for my house for my life!
Tunes for today...U2:When Love comes to town!(rattle and hum!) Name the origonal! The walk to the tram stop is hard....but I am not giving up my job! Hand washing my shirts is a bitch tho! Take care of each other and keep smiling! Dave P.S Check your Goth name: http://www.necroticobsession.com/gothname.html Mine is: Violent Sex Addict.....Hmmm...
1: PMA, Positive Mental Attitude .....Sub 1: People who don't support Number 1 in you need to be limited access to said ms'er!....Well just make that ex girl friends for now! 2:Good Music! Got to get that rytham working! Shaking that ass....even when sat down! 3: don't overdo 1: or 2:!
Sort of does it for now! I have just been stopped by an inquisitive Irish lady...who took one look at me and said "ms?" So I kinnd of guessed she knows! She told me about two of her relatives who have it and we talked for 10 mins about what I was doing...ect! But she brought somthing to my attention. "Have you ever tried Bowtox?"
At first I thought she was trying to say That I look old or somthing,but no! She told me about how her sister had been advised to try injections into internal organs....what! Poison into the blood stream...Wait a minute, Whats Smurf Blood being pumped into my body doing?
Maybe I need to open a 4th tip! 4: Keep an open mind, Coz they dont know where this disease came from!
Hmmm maybe I need to look into living a bit more before I start doing tips lists! Oh went into work today and they have put me on a return to work plan! Reduced hours again! PMA DAVE PMA!
Paul Mcenna is asking for new people in his next show!
What if....no its stupid! just give me a sec! What if ms is a thought! Your brain controls chemicals in the body! Could Your mind be programed to produce more myline or even kill ms???
I have met an amazing woman, she will be a good friend to have! Her boyfriend knows about me and he is ok with Jen being my friend! Which is good! Coz I want to be her friend! We can still meet up for drinks and stuff....more movies coming up!
I have been into work, just over half day! Need to do more so I can meet up with the ladies! Happy Dave so dont send ahhhhhhhhhhhh mails! Hope you are all having a good time like me! Thing about getting out of Goa trip!(Sinead has reminded me that she is going!) It will be hot! Spaz Dave! No I am going to do it! And do it well!
Fight for your life and dont let it keep you down! Smiling Dave
it doesnt matter thats she is taken, what matters is..
I still have the capcity to love. Thats what life is about....for me! There is now a need for me to live life...I am not gone yet....not for a long time! Drink for today...for tomorrow we die! hmmmmm somthing to think about!
after reading last nights posting.... It bought back some memories.....Yes she has a boyfriend....no he doesnt know that we were out last night......will I do it again?
Yes your damb right I will!She wants to be my mate....I am! Her boyfriends name is Pete....wow!
Learn and move on! Stayed up drinking and talking to her on msn! Bed by 07:00 up again at 10! The thing is I really had a good time...film was great(War of the worlds!) I didnt eat all day! had a liquid lunch and tea! and I met a great woman! (bit slutty but,thats how I like you!)...but isnt this whole thing of going out to meet new people?
will I see her again....yeah i think so, dont think in the same light tho!
what a woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG
really what a woman! She was Fantastic! I Cant Wait till next time time, and there will be a next time! My god!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is a fine woman with all the right things in in all the right places!
But guess what..............woman going to love@lycos....want to get a 'new' boy friend! sound so familar....why cant one of you....mo fo's just tell it like it is!
Yes she has a boy friend and she isnt happy! So I told her to make it easy on her herself and tell him not me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For f*cks sake...whats the problem with people telling each other there feelings, what the problem is! If it was that easy I suppose we wouldn't have the getting to know you thing...which was good fun tonight! life is fubar! but fun! Lets get drunk to forget what we are trying to do!
For god sake...the human race is f*cked up!
Lets get it right one day! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Over cloudy! Have to change last update! Clothing..
Black jeans Same t-shirt Going for blue Shirt long sleave....have to iron! Black Trainers
Still waiting for delivery from grocery shop! Not as nevouse as yesturday, I know where and what we are doing...cinema at luch time! Go for lunch, have a drink, both of which I can do! Then who knows!
What are my intentions.....honerable. I want to make a friend! Thats it! Be honest, enjoy the movie then come home and crash after having a drink with a beutifull younger woman! Is it that easy? err yeah! The hardest part of the day is the worry if she will turn up or not! Am I ready? No!
I will give you guys an update after the event, or maybe not! Depends on where it goes!!!!
Have a good day people...I am going to!
Dave
Oh forgot to mention music: Hundred Reasons:If I could! (to wake you!)rock!
What am I going to wear?!?!? Thing I stick with quarter length pants(black) Favorit T-shirt(bark green Faithless-I cant get no sleep!) Ankle socks(black) Short sleave shirt(carcoal grey) left open so you can see the t-shirt!
Oh wait a sec I suppose you want a break down on what she will be wearing....god knows but she is a goth so I suspect lots of black and lots of eye make-up!
Just got to make sure I smell nicer than her! Oh we are going to be doing somthing simple(phew!) and lots of drink! Being a sensible woman I am going to meeting her and her.....erm fag! Fag hag alert! I dont mind meeting him...its just that he better not be there long or hit on me(its happened before)! Got a feeling there is somthing she is not telling me! Paranoia taken from last relationship....what was her name??
Still feeling good, hope the weather is fine! I hope I rock! Oh i got an email from anothergirl on the internet! Her name is beth! My god whats going on here???
Daves first rule of life is: HAPPYNESS RULES ENJOY IT
kacking my pants! Tunes of the day: Olive:Your not alone! Nitin Sahney:Homelands *Hundred Reasons: If I could*(head-banging moment!) Leftfield:Phat Planet! (the guiness advert!)
fighting tunes where I come from....agressive and mello just to set the day up!
I hope you check these tunes out! Big rush! Take care, Very happy Dave.
as Hanable says"I love it when a plan comes together!
just sorting out a couple of things with Jen! Top lass! We know what we want to do...I have given her plenty of oppertunities to change her mind....and she has bollocked me allready...A fine way to get into my good books! Not at work this week! have spoken to team leader and she is ok with me taking a holiday on friday! So work is all ok!
Info about Jen:(the stuff I think is ok to tell you!) She is a goth! 23 year old! Really good looking! Realy witty Likes her vodka! tatoo on her back(on telling untill I see it!)
And that is it for now! I have ordered my food, I have cleaned the flat, I have hand washed my favorite T-shirt and all I need now is money! I will tell you what we are doing after!
Sorted a date once I told her about the ms too! She is cool bout it!
OMG!
turns out she has a disabled relative and she know I am still a human! I must be better at chatting/flirting with the girlies than I thought! She has sent me some pics...(not porn wise dirty gits!) and she likes mine too! woah! Jen rocks!
Just ask localhost he has seen the pic! Iam made up! something is telling me to slow down............nah! You only life once enjoy yourself! I am sure you agree! leave comments and give me some advise! please, I dont have much time!
She is beautiful, funny, intelligent,witty and I stayed at her house last night.....she stayed at mine too! A perfect cure for that sleep issue..(ish!)! No I didnt go to work today either.......Jennifer! WOW! So....I degress! She is amazing....Ok you want down sides...your my familly of course you do, ok then! I havent actually met her face to face yet....I have dated on the internet!..................so!
Its not that hard either! Find a decent site where you dont have to pay anything.....(my failing last time...but dont go there!)and make sure you look after yourself. Just be your self...well with a couple of extra bits of course and relax and enjoy! Jen is meeting up with me(ok...on the internet!)Tonight at 8! Cant wait!
Now the big question your all waitinting to ask.....(I am sure she is a woman pocket punk!)...Does she know about the ms? well.....No! Why didnt I not tell her...that is a question! Well I will tell you ms is not taking last night away from me! I felt in love and so did she! I am a romantic...it will be my downfail! She told me so many things about her life. and I enjoyed reading about her as she typed it into the messenger! This has been the best day this year without question! The theme tune...The whole album of Nizlopi...on repeat for 8 hours! Well I couldnt sleep could I! She couldnt either! Well not after she met me! ......she has to know doesnt she! I have to tell her! Should I just say I have a walking stick or that I have ms...thats the f'ing question!
She is 23 and works in a pasty shop! Loves rock and dance music!
Loved up feeling! no questions yet! Hope everyone is ok! Dave
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What happend to sleep? When did my body start saying "Your only going to sleep between the hours of 04:00 to 06:30!" My god someone needs some valuim or something....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I think working out might help! I think if I could get out the house....that would help!
I have just worked out what 'it' is! Caffeine! I am going to keep note of how many times I am getting a half pint of coffee per day!....and try not to compensate with coke! Surley smoking the weed would knock that....wouldnt it? Then you add Nicotine....Maybe I need to pay more attention to diet and life style.....LOL :P
Weather report...sunny and hot....ooohh great! Hmmm Have a good day! Dave
Not getting much sleep at the mo and I think there is somthing coming which wont be pleasant! My flat is a prison without any outside exercise yard! I know I wont be going to work in the morning, I will get 6 hours sleep and do nothing tomorrow that will amount to anything! How is a young man with this condition supposed to have sexual conquest! Vix is right...we are all sexual beings! Where is our bit! You cant do the single life thing if you cant leave the house without aid! Yes improve your mental well being but it gets to a level when you are just hitting your head against a brick wall! There is someone out there for all of us.....what happens if I had it and now its gone! Who would want a knackered man anyway! I know she didn't! Right thats it! Going to set myself a task! Meet someone without getting out the house.....any suggestions?....anyone? Will any young woman look at me without seeing the illness?
I saw a program on tele, it was a Paul Mckenna thing...you know the guy...He was trying to help a woman get over a man.. he said you have to do 4 things! 1st think of a thing per year that was bad for the relationship...so I need 5! Think of each bad moment and picture you ex partners face! You have a really bad time doing this as you have to feel really bad feeling before the next bit,take your time over this! Then all you need to do is think of the best time you had and hold it in your mind! hold it very close to your heart....Now thats created the memory you will remember when her/his name is mentioned...or when you feel down just rember that good thought!...I will let you know if it works for me!(stone henge and the beach!)
This is a difficult one for me! I think I might have got it wrong! Can someone help me with this?
I dont need a flat mate in manchester! I need my sanity and to get back to work any work. Dont need.........this sh*t anymore!
I am 29 going on 80! I need sleep and the love of a GOOD woman!(webcam available!)
I am going to bed to look at the celing for a bit....hope it rains tomorrow.it will match the mood and may cool the air down a bit!
passed three days....6 hours sleep per night and its doing my head in! Go to bed ealry and wake up early! Its not like I am doing anything to aid that! well not this weekend anyway! I wont mind if I was having great dreams...just regular ones! I woke up this morning and the house stunk of smoke, The clean up didnt go well!
I miss Sinead as well....going to drop off some of her cd's today. Leaving on her door step as I dont know if she wil be there! She single so probley not!
Watch to movie's yesterday; Braveheart and Forest Gump.
its too WARM! I can get round my house by holding on to walls,doors and the celing in the frount room! Body is reacting to the heat,badley! Cant do owt so not dropping of cd's! And yes pp its like an oven....one really well done bastard right in my house! Its too warm! Dave
Didnt sleep at all last night untill 05:15 ish and woke at 14:00. What happend there! got knows! ring into work after I had sorted my head out(16:00) to advise wont be in today!
Found new humor: not slapstick just give a disabled guy a hoover and ask him to do the stairs! (lh you know the hoover!!!) This hoover has a mind of its own! The pipe is split in to 5 bits....which turns to ten bits once you start the thing up! You just get it started and the bottom of the pipe drops off. you put that bit back on and it disconnects from the hoover. after 20 mins I had done 1 section of my house! then the cable ran out! changed the plug into another room then after 10 mins of the pipe dance again it need the bag changing cause it smelt funny. Changed bag. Started pipe dance angain and started on the stairs! Ended up throwing the hoover accross the room into the bed room! And thats where its going to live!!!!!!!!! My god...fell into bath and laughed my ass off for ten minutes! All that for having friends coming round this pm! They can do it next time!
Legs still hurting....even more now after the hoover d'barcle!
news this morning is coming through about terrorist attack on london. Its a long way of from where I live,manchester was hit by the IRA a few years ago. At this time I dont have much info. 20 people suspected dead many injuries. My 1st reaction was to get in contact with Sinead......
She is ok replyed to my text saying is not in london. Still makes you think about people you care about!
BBC reports 7 sites arround london have been hit with explosions. On the same day that the G8 summit in glen eagles started. Tony Blair has come away from the G8 meeting to find out more about whats happening but has said it will go on without him till he can return. If there is more more happening I will add to this update through posting comments. Lets hope there is no more. Oh....off work today as legs still knacked, will go into work tomorrow!
did a food order through the internet....comes tomorrow. Didnt go to work today and off tomorrow 2! legs hurting like mad! I have to aim to be in work on friday! just got to do it!
I know you have all herd it before from me but, I think I need to get a life in manchester as well as up north! I know the only way to do this is to talk to people down here! The only person I have seen in manchester is the post man!(yeah,no contact from her either!)
Phoned work today and told them I will be in tomorrow! Got to iron a shirt and everything! I will take it easy today and not do to much today.....got to get in the habit of being there 1st!
Don't know where to start this morning... Its been a while for me! What a great weekend...Again! For the second time in two weeks I awoke in a strange woman's house, I could tell it was a woman's house by the smell. Woke up not remebering the last nights activity. I had a metal block which is still worrying me. I know being self inflicted means no sympathy but...You know! I had met up with some old friends and they looked after me....including 2 toilet visits...hmmm. They have told me that I had a good time and wasnt to embarising. It felt good...it felt really good to be human again. This being the second weekend in a row I think...I have my weekends back! Maybe thats a bad thing for anyone that knows me but I am going to have fun whenever I can!
Right now for the title of this one! Mixed feelings about showing my opinion about this...yeah its a great idea to stop the povety in the world. To stop the...person dieing every three seconds would be great(click.....click......click). Cutting third world debt and bringing down the corupt leaders yeah also, it felt like this could be a good step towards world peace. I think Sir Bob has got it right! This is a big thing for me! Would love to see this happen in my life! Share the medicine!
oh yeah still of work....bad pain in right leg has moved to left aswell. Right arm throbs and I find it hard to type but getting on with stuff! I have thought alot about retiring recently..yeah think I am going to do it! Good point this week is Vix has sent me a personal message...see her blog for that....as my dad would say..."great rack!"
Name: personallog! Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!!
See my complete profile
