Saturday, December 31, 2005
The star of a new year! Just like any other day!
Looks like I am spending new year on my own....aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! How goth is that! Wallow in self pity...err no! Got my mates coming round for abit of a sesh! My thoughts will be with Jen I know! Back to work on monday....I know I work for a bank and it is a bank holiday but I work in the credit card section! There is no credit holiday as you all know! But as monday looms so does the new year, the new idea's, the next step the next day! Next year is my year...the only doom and gloom will be with the differing music taste as it gets more goth like! I am thinking that I should put some Fat Boy Slim on in defiance!hehe! But you know when she gets here she will get more requests than anyone else!

Right I have to go out and get some beer(party with my mates tonight!yey!) in for tonight so I wish you all a happy new year and make sure you have a smile on your face at 12:00! Dont let the(ms) bastard grind you down!

Love and hugs

Oh yeah....resolutions:
1. Never to make false promises to myself!
2. Be happy!
3. Never go backwards(unless gravity helps!) allways look forward to the future!
4. Be more possitive.
5. Take on new challenges with a smile!
6. Be honest.....more!(i.e you may see swearing reapear! pre-emtive sorry!)
that shoult do it for now! Just last thing.....Jen I love you babe!xxxx
posted by personallog! @ 10:51 am   3 comments
Friday, December 30, 2005
I think I am being gready or insecure or something. I just want her here all the time with me! I havent herd from her in 24 hours and I want to go round to where she is from and find her! I know why this is hard....her boy friend! He is probley a really nice bloke too....but that makes it even harder.....for both of us! Non of this madness is here when I see her.

Its his birthday bad do I feel! I have never met the bloke but he must be good to be going out with Jen for 8 years! Yes I guess its going bad but these questions are there! I want to meet him so he can beat the living daylights out of me or something.....most of all I want Jen with me.... To spend new year away from her is going to knock me for 6! I am supposed to be going out today with Bobbeh and Em so I can get her a pressent...I need to do something! Just need a hug! I think its thier fault I am feeling like this. had a christmas drink with them both last night and they were cuddling on the couch watching tv. All I could think of was Jen! How girly is that? I have just got a text message from Jen and she is going to finish tonight.....she feels bad too! Why is love so hard? I guess if it was easy then we wouldnt have all the exciting bits. We wouldnt have all the joy and excitment when it is shouldnt make you feel evil tho!

I love you Jenifer!
posted by personallog! @ 11:24 am   0 comments
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Happy daze!
free jazz mp3 downloads from a guy who knows what I like! give it a shot...its free after all!His name is Chris Moris and he has a blog there too! I found it when I was looking for more music from Weather Report, this was a cd I got for christmas from my dad! Jazz days here we come! I dont think I will be able to get a video(haha!) but if I find music downloads I will let you all know! Please feel free to give me a point in the right direction! Any comments will be investagated! I think relaxing with music is a great makes you feel life and I love it! Anything that can make you forget the ms pain is a bonus yeah!

posted by personallog! @ 11:33 am   0 comments
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Everyone likes a drink but no one likes a drunk!
********Robbie Williams************

The tune is for my team manager at work....this is a request! You tell me what you want and I will find it!
Phoned in sick today but I am looking forward to getting back. If you dont use it you loose it! That being the case I am looking into education again....well I might be able to save some money on beer if I am learning!hehe! I am thinking web design or doing my own buisness. I will keep you posted!
Jen is coming round today to look after me....I hope!hehe! Nurse Jen wow!

Hope you all having a good christmas/new year!

Did something today which I have never done before....I have deleated Sineads number from my phone and blocked her from seeing when I am on line! I feel its about time! A friend would stay in touch especalily over christmas! She isnt anymore so finaly compleate and finished with any idea that I could go back! I am quite happy with that! Got phone call to say I am off till next year as the holidays have become available!yey! Oh and saw Jen today and the M word was mentioned! You know ding dong! Lets move in together first eh babe! I love her so much!xxxxxxxxx
Have a good N
posted by personallog! @ 8:54 am   0 comments
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
My word Christmas was great!
What a great time! Kids laughing and family all round it was amazing! Drank too much! Spent 200 pounds on drink! I am so paying for it now! Hangover from hell!(will I ever learn?) I even got to a pub errrr wow. I have no idea how I got back hehe. My brother in law and my mate S gave me a RAF intro drink! 2 shots of vodka 1 bottle of smirnoff ice half a print of lager all in a pint glass and you have to down it in one! You swines!
That was the night I text Jen and asked if it was ok to cop off with someone else....she said "not if you want me to be your girlfriend" I didnt! Spoke to her today and apologised for about 30 mintes I am so sorry babe! I love you! I would never! I cant wait to see you again! I cant wait till you move in, Keys will be cut for you next week! I think I was a bit....well drunk and missing you!

Had one episode of ms legs and could not go out but I made up for it when I could. I saw everyone I wanted too and the cold weather didnt hinder me at all. I had a great time and cant wait till next year. I will embrise myself then too!hehe! I did have a fall when drunk and cut open my leg but that my own fault! It will be ok just my pride hurt there! Massive bump too.

Hope you all had a good time too! roll on new year!
posted by personallog! @ 5:39 pm   1 comments
Friday, December 23, 2005
Sorry for the music but I only have 2 mins before
I go to work! Its the only christmas tune I could find!!!!!!
I did choose a maria carie tune but ....SORRY!

Got a christmas kiss too!yey! Dave rocks towards the beer fridge!
They dont do the rock version!lol!

Have a great christmas EVERYONE!!

Love and hugs to all!Merry Christmas!
posted by personallog! @ 7:24 am   3 comments
Thursday, December 22, 2005
A great day was had!
Went to work today! 09:00 till 15:00 and feel...well ok! pain in legs come back but I think thats my legs complaining to be honest!

"Whats all this walking lark?" Well I have one more day to go till I break up for christmas! Still no scellotape for the wrapping yet tho! Will be done!

Good news today which was rather strange! Work were say I havent taken enough holidays for the year!!!!!What! I havent been there due to sick days and they want me to take some more!lol! So....I have booked some! Last week in January and first two weeks in Febuary for my birthday.. Wow! So It means I have two weeks after new year and I am on holiday! Have to sort something out for that! Any idea's how I should spend my 30th birthday? Really?

Work are going to do a work station assesment again in the morning!(thats where I play for the work from home angle again! fingers crossed!) I have found a few banks do let there staff work from home!
I cant wait to see Jen again! I found out she is going to see Nizlopi over christmas too! I would love to see them live! It would mean so much to me and Jen if we could go together! They were the band I was listening to when I met her! I would love to get some video on here!!! Come on guys! Oh well some Jamie will have to do!

Hope you are all well!Still happy!
posted by personallog! @ 3:15 pm   2 comments
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Thanks for showing me Camille!
Right two songs here! Why Placebo I hear you scream! Well....I had a moment with Jen today where the music was on(well My sweet prince by Placebo which I cant find!) and we stared in to each others eyes and we both said "I love you" at the same time! We talked about moving in together and what the next step should be! I am so happy for....well us! It cant be this easy can it?

I have to thank camile for showing me that you can have more than one tune on at a time....well in order anyway! Sorry if my updates get too soppy.....well tuff! Its my blog!hehe! Young and in love....young,dumb and full of.....well like organs,blood and stuff!
Hope you all ok! I am for once!
(Your waiting for the mood swing arnt you? Tuff!)
posted by personallog! @ 9:25 pm   5 comments
For Lee's gran, god rest her!
Passed yesterday 20/12/05

I think its a good idea me posting music at the start of my day and then doing an update when my day closes! Had day off sick as still trying to clear this cold/man flu! Jen came round today.....shocker and a half! I had a top day and now remeber why I am staying here! I have to iron a shirt for tomorrow....I am going to work in the morning and feel really angry at myself for not going over the past couple of weeks! I love Jen with a passion and she allways seems to know when and where I need her! She brightens up my day/week/month and year! Everything seems brighter...more right! If only she would leave him! I still know and dont want to force the issue but jesus! I think I know where the expression "She rocks my world!" came from! I diserve a good woman dont I? After my last one I need a medal! I mean come on how hard can two people in love be?(ok I know it can be hard sometimes but give me a break!) She has, as allways, given me a good square kick in the happy sack and told me to sort it out....the temptation to say "you first" was there but!....I am going back to work! It frightens me that I am letting her so close to me, I have been hurt before and dont want to be there again! Something tells me it will be good this time, with her!

Depression over with! I am still a man and its christmas at the weekend!yey! Calm down baby and have a piece of cheese!

posted by personallog! @ 8:01 am   2 comments
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Just an extra thought for the day!
there are over 3 species per day being wiped out by what we do to this planet....makes you think of how many are being created doesn't it? Could ms just be a new creation thats not worked out what it is yet? Are we the new species the next evolution of man and we dont understand how to control the developments? Lazy fat and wasted! hmm sounds like a book to me!Hehe! I should charge someone for these idea's shouldnt I? Dave the thinker!
What does my name mean?
David:Hebrew: Friend,Beloved

Hmm hebrew eh! Did you know that 666(the number of the beast!) when written in hebrew(the written language at the time of the bible) translates to: WWW
Satans tool is the internet???? Well looking at it sometimes I could agree!
Oh Ste cancelled on me too! Is this disease spreading to my social life as well?
I think I am going to take some time for me to re-avaluate somethings in my life....again! It might involve sometime away from blogging too! So I leave you with a space to request some music or whatever you want to do! Depression bobbeh would say "big fat hairy lesbain balls!"
Hope you enjoy the music from this morning and I hope your are all ok! I will update with music but not text for the next couple of days!
The thinking
posted by personallog! @ 3:27 pm   1 comments
No body knows it!!
****Queens of the stone age*****

Hope you like it! For you sis! I cant believe you called me from the Nizlopi gig on your mobile! How to wind me up! Oh Nizlopi are number 1 on the UK charts! Hows that for having your finger on the pulse of new music! I feel aq 'Told you so!' coming on !LOL!

Still off work! Gunge sunk to my chest! Errrg!

I have my mate ste coming tonight to stop in on his way back home...well we will see!

Hope your all ok!
posted by personallog! @ 9:34 am   4 comments
Monday, December 19, 2005
For a little girl called A.....
Merry christmas A! With all my love! No hints no tips just for a little blonde lass!

No work today still shaking this damb cold! Be better soon I swear! I am getting bored of it to be honest. Christmas is paid for but I still need scelotape to finish wrapping them all! Hope you like the tune!

Hope you all good!
*****Dont know if this is code or not but:I found out why she hasnt left hime yet! Its HIS birthday coming up and christmas! Thing is he is going to have one every year!Hmmmmm I think I am going to get hurt here...but every time she says she loves me I just melt! I think this will be deleated later!***** Just reference for me!
This is a winter shot from my window:
posted by personallog! @ 7:59 am   2 comments
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Mood swing....just need an even flow!
***Pearl Jam:Even flow*****
Happy Dave! These mood swings are a text message from the beutiful goth'ed one this morning! She is coming to visit!YEY! Before christmas too! I cant wait to see her! I got this message after I was reading up on Tovaxin and feel strangly possitive about the future! Please do read the comments from yesturday and check this link! Tell me what you think please I need some feedback!

Last night was really cold...minus 4! no snow just really cold! I need her with me...her smile makes me feel warm! I just hope I can be that better man for her! We will see!

New drugs (looks promising!)and a new lease of life! Mood swung!

Hope your all ok
posted by personallog! @ 12:00 pm   1 comments
Saturday, December 17, 2005
1 week to go!
I cant wait to be at mam and dads house for the build up for christmas! I think this weekend has something to do with it! I have had people canceling on me all week! Spent last night on my own....drinking alone sucks! I think this is the first sign of friends leaving the nest to go out themselves....goodwill running out maybe? It had to come at one point! I have read over my blog for updates done at this time last year and found the same thing happening there! Being left in the bedroom all on my own while people where downstairs having fun at Sineads house! hmmm sound very familar! At least this time I can move and not paralised from the neck down!(the toilet thing is not being lived again!) I have my own flat and loads to be proud of.......but there is so much I have to do before people can see me as a normal person! Thats the hardest part for me! I think its the last thing before I start to relise truly that I am disabled!

Its fine knowing abit more about whats happening to my body, the infected bit of my spine is stopping the electric impluses from contorling my legs properly. But knowing and stopping/reversing this disease is really hard if you have no support! I am thinking seriosly about going home full time! Give up on manchester and everything here.....everyone here!.......thats thats painful!

I think I am just on a low! Forgive me! I dont think I could give in on this place! I deffinatly couldnt give in on Jen and my independance! She has just started to move stuff in!(in the only way a woman does,leaving stuff behind like jewelery and her nighty!hehe!Just needs her toothbrush!) I think I have to change the music and bring a smile to my face again! I wanted to put some Beatles(here comes the sun!) on here but I cant find any video's for them! this will have to do:

Make me smile anyway!

1 week to go till christmas! Hope your all ok!
posted by personallog! @ 12:49 pm   4 comments
Friday, December 16, 2005
ok ok ok! Jesus Bobbeh!

Cool choice......bitch!lol Your such a goth!hehe!

Right off today and I am sick to the back teath of not getting out at all! I am going to the doc's to get something for this! I think I will pop into the shops too...I need some stuff anyway! When I get back I am going to look into retrovirus and how to kill them! Dave the mad scientist will provale or get very drunk trying!hehe!

I am thinking ms is man made for some reason! Well if you dont believe me.....disprove me!(might be a 'write a book' thing?)

Hope you all have a good weekend!Speak soon!

****Canabis Additional*******: I have just gust checked the counter for this blog! In the form of Kims 'Key word analisis!' I found someone has looked at my blog for 'Canabis and ms'! Well here are some facts about how canabis effects the average ms'er just to make your search more productive! THC in canabis(the active nateral chemical) stimulates receptors in the centeral cortex of the brain. This part of the brain produces dopamine the neurochemical which acts as the reward system.(or gives you the short term buzz/stoned feeling)When THC attaches itself to these receptors it weekens the short term memory...this can lead to paranoia, phycosis and gerneral mental heath problems in the long term. Yes it does act as a pain killer and from personal experience I have seen a few benifits to using the drug! It numbs the ms pain you get in your muscles and in the bones because you dont move anywhere! No movement...less shakes just less everything! Thats not a life is it? I felt I have trouble getting out the house anyway and I dont need help to stop me any further! Ms does that for me anyway(please note I have not used a capital letter for ms for about 3 months!) I dont need to hinder myself anymore then ms is doing! If you want to try by all means do but remember it is against the law and it was made against the law because of the mental effects it caused to some people(about 60% of people(they spoiled it for us all)!) I do smoke it still but for enjoyment not for the pain relief!(saying that I havent had a joint for about 8 weeks!) The decision is yours but I hope this helps you!
posted by personallog! @ 9:55 am   5 comments
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Keep my sanity....aprently I dont want it!
Yes going mad! I am not listening to music as much as I should. I have spend load of money on material wealth and I havent been using it! I think I need to go through my back catolgue of cd's and grow to love them again! I dont need to loose anything else! I have a weekend on my own mate Ste was going to come back from the RAF on leave as he has broken his foot during training but he isnt now so I have the weekend to myself! Good place to start I suppose is something from my past...and PP past too!

****Faith no more:epic********

Hope you enjoy kids!(Bobby your request will be played over next 2 days!)

Still ill with my 'man cold' and not at work. I think I am returning to the mad Dave to much time in solitary! I have christmas presents to wrap anyway and the flat needs to be cleaned. I think a beer might be a good idea also! Could do with some THC(weed!) too! THC triggers the production of dopamine from the central cortex(in makes you feel good!) Its the brains way of saying thanks! It also helps with pain but at the same time shortens the short term memory! So why did we want it as a pain killer again? I dont remeber! (I havent by the way!)
Think its time for some Eddie Halliwell(what a DJ!)
Hope your all ok
posted by personallog! @ 12:15 pm   5 comments
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Shake that ass!
I am getting so bored with not doing anything in the house.There is only so many times you can clean up before you get really bored! Need to put some music on so I can shake that ass!

Exercise as well as pleasure....hmmm? What can I do? I am bored again! I know the intelegent mind should never be bored but I am getting there! My cold has gone down on to my chest and I am coughing really badly! I could sing some really good jazz at the moment! I feel like I have been smoking ciggars for a week! Its weird not really suffering from the usual ms pain but I think this cold is taking over! I dont want to take anything that helps me produce more white blood cells. That would just be stupid wouldn't it?Has anyone got any good idea's? Do I suffer in silence and get on with it or do I bite the bullet and take something that will promote the next step of the ms nightmare! More white blood cells will strip more more mylin wont it? Does anyone have more info than I have? I will just exercise and drink more fluids till I find something....I will let you know!

I am currently reading into learning more about ms. Ms the Retrovirus If you dont beieve me check this out! Got to learn more if I am going to kick this! Its the herpes part of it which I cant get my head round! I think what modern science is looking into how to kill the retrovirus of ms and to understand this a bit better you might want to read this
its a bit deep but the understanding of how a virus works is needed to find out how to kill it! Sorry if this is a bit deep but if we are suffering its effects we need to educate are selves dont we? Your feedback will be investagated and excepted!
I cant stop thinking about working from here! I am sure I could do an 8 hour day from my frount room.....writting gay porn?......ewwwwww!lol

At least it made you smile, Hope you are all well.
Dave(the non gay porn writer!hehe)

Just asked my team manager what request she would like for music tomorrow and she said Robbie Willams:Feel! So If you know whats good for you please suggest a tune I am taking requests so bring something please!
posted by personallog! @ 8:34 am   3 comments
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Flu or man cold?
hmm I have a few things to report today from a diary point of veiw.....nothing great to report really with regards to finding cure or raising money but before I go into it have a bit of music:
****Gorillaz:Feel Good***

Blur/gorillaz love both!
Right the diary bits:
1.Spoke to Sinead yesturday through msn messenger, good to know she is back in the country and in 1 piece! We dont usally talk at all unless we have something to 'show off' about. Well she does...she has a boyfriend, good for really I am glad she is getting on with her life! There was one thing that I had to hold was so hard...I hope he doesnt get a disease or ailment like mine! I wish them both well and hope she is happy with him.
2. I am still off work as my head feels like its full of snot!
3. Might have scared off Jen by saying'I love you' too much! Hope she is ok I know there was trouble on the home frount with her and I dont think I am helping.
4.Copaxone injections are going well but I am finding I use 4 sites(each site split into 3 of course!) Leg,leg,tum,tum!I think I am getting used to it! I rather not do it but!
5. I think I have the plague. Hate being ill!

Well thats about it apart from my dreams are wierd, Have a constant nightmare about toxic Plasmosis! Think thats how you spell it but to be honest I am to ill to go look for it! An internet limp!lol
oh 5 things for the General...
1.I love music but cant play anything apart from the digerydoo(not well either!)
2. I allways sleep on the left hand side of the bed and face right or I am not pointing in the right direction.
3. I have no fear of hights and secretly think thats why I am 6ft 3!
4. I allways stir my tea/coffee in a clock wise motion!
5. I allways put the left sock on first as I think it adds the the earth rotation!lol

Well you asked! Quiet mad I think!lol
Hope your all well!
posted by personallog! @ 9:31 am   6 comments
Monday, December 12, 2005
Dont nobody know my troubles with gawd....
The blues yes! I have a cold....snotty doom! A great addition to my ailments today! Decided to call in sick again! No surprize there then dave! Well at least there are some bonuses to that! I get to start new supplements today:Vit D and a new batch of Gingo bilboa!

I think that is going to be all my news for today. I have got whiskey in the house so I think a hot toddie will have to be done by 3 oclock!hehe! I am still getting text messages from the 'goth'ed one' professing love so I am happy and drownding in snot! Oh joy! It feels good to be suffering from a common makes me feel like a 'normal' human still!

Hope your all well!

Is this wisdom? Something to think about maybe: We should all Treasure each moment as if it were are last, regardless of the situation you are in!
posted by personallog! @ 9:29 am   7 comments
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Maybe third time lucky eh!
Well a wierd and wacky weekend! Got to site....after much faults in direction...went through the training....should be no bother.....waited for clearence and met a load of people who are going to do it....waited for over cloud to drift away.....waited some more....decided to go to the pub for a drink still waiting for clouds! the important bit for this type of thing is seeing the ground from 2 miles up! Guys at the plane said NO JUMP! Resceduled jump for the 14th of Jan! Damb it! Thats next year!

Oh well maybe next time it will happen! 3rd time lucky? Time to raise more money! Gave a sponsership form to my aunty to get money from her work in the north east too! Not to dishartened! Gutted tho!

Had time to get drunk and enjoy the weekend too. I had my first trip in a wheelchair this weekend to the shops! What a wierd experence that was, Women talk to you, loads! Whats that all about? You can check out there bums without raising your eyes!lol Allright you cant chase them but they dont run away either! Maybe being in one will work to my advantage in the girly department! Dave the slapper returns!hehe!

Hope you are all ok

p.s music for my Dad and me:
*****Cream:White Room****
posted by personallog! @ 5:09 pm   3 comments
Friday, December 09, 2005
A tune for Me!(Directed at Sinead for some reason!)

The many different levels of Daves muic tastes! Last Vid before the jump in the morning!!!!!!!! Oooooooooo! or should that be Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhh! Lol

Hope you enjoy the tune!

Called in sick to work today! Legs still hurting but I dont think I can do anything about that! So am I I look no!
I had a wierd dream last night about to many drugs in my body. Cant really explaine but I woke up and put on a cream album!lol Must be to much something! I cant wait for the jump tomorrow. its going to be cool! Well cold really. We will see if they call it off because of the weather!

I supose this is my last oppertunity to say good case the chute doesnt work. So... its been emotional! Take care of yourselves and see you on the other side!(please dont take this bit seriouse, I have to be here alot longer to teach people about music and stuff!hehe) You will get a picture of me during and after the jump!(Unless I poo myself!)

Hope you are all well and smiling!
posted by personallog! @ 8:38 am   6 comments
Thursday, December 08, 2005
For Kim....Hope your ok mate!
*****Daniel Powter:Bad day*****

Kim asked for this a long time back and its taken my a while to dig it out! He appears to be pretty big over here now! Anyway hope you all enjoy it! I am so tired today but happy so don't worry about me! I got a message from Jen that has brightened my day but I am not at work again! These legs were made for walking.....then why cant I do much with them? It has taken me 10 mins to get down 7 steps between front room and bed room! Wobbley knees! I can stop laughing at them!

Roll on Christmas and the family drinking events! I only have 1 more present to get for my family! I think they will be happy with what I have got them! I have the jump this saturday and I have raised about £1000....ish! Wish me luck!

The only sad note about today is that its the 25th year to the day that John Lennon was shot! God rest ye! Which ever higher being you are with!

Hope your all ok!
posted by personallog! @ 11:58 am   4 comments
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Its going to be the last time I see her this year!
Damb damb damb! I have today off as my legs were really in pain...I text Jen as normal and she had the day off too! She came over to look after me and we spent the day in each others arms! We have a certain thing which drags us to the bedroom every time.....sickening I know but....we are human! The thing is we are not going to see each other again till after new year due to work and her having an other half!

Sh*t sh*t sh* without her is going to be a nightmare! When will this be right? What am I going to do? I love her but at least I got to see her before I jump out of a plane! Got to stop this blog sounding like a Bridget Jones diary and get on with my life....then why does it hurt so bad!

Ok time for some music and a smile....ok:

****Lazio Banes:Superman*****

Very cool tune to a very good show! Look at what they are doing for us too!

Check this out!

Come on the scrubs!

Depressed in love and I hope you are all ok!
posted by personallog! @ 7:52 pm   0 comments
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
My Favorite Linkin Park, Listen to the well!
****Linkin Park:Some where I belong*****

This tune means something to me on so many scales! Half day today and spoke to my works insurance team! They are looking into the work from home side of things! woah! for a call centre to work from home is a big step for any company and I know I will be the first for this bank! Ground breaking for any company I think! Might be a first for any company working for its disabled member of staff! I am feeling ok mentally for the first time in months!(like you were stable in the first place Dave!hehe) I think its because I can now laugh at myself! I think its got something to do with being loved too,if not first!

The music change to rock again has inspired me grow my hair again!(something to mosh with!lol) Not too long or anything just shoulder lengh I think! Legs in pain and I might need to look into pain killers instead of lying down for an hour! I never get anything done if I fall asleep! Copaxone is regulating my sleep pattern and increasing my concentration to the point where I can pick up a book before bed! The injection site movement has stopped pain(Thanks part time mum(Camille)) and life feels better! Not perfect but better,well will it ever be perfect?

I feel having my first year done that I can do more and understand this disease better! I am not the voice of experance by any means but I have a life again! There is no doom and gloom here(apart from family issues!hmmm! sort it out for the kids please, you know who you are,one way or another!)

Right I have to get into looking for you guys again! I miss Amanda Camile and all of you over there>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hope you are all ok and dealing with your own personal me please!
posted by personallog! @ 6:46 pm   3 comments
Monday, December 05, 2005
Any idea's on how to........
Break the smoking habbit? I think it a good idea too! The tune is for me! Do I want to yet?
Hmm this is going to go on for while trust me! I have to get into work in the morning just to get the habbit of walking to the tram stop in the habbit of going to work!
Stop one and get another!
I woke up singing the Beatles this morning....sickening I know I just hope I can keep the light tone for the rest of today! I dont think :Carry that wieght, is quiet apt tho! Happy birthday localhost! Hope the best for you as allways!
Have a good day
posted by personallog! @ 11:53 pm   1 comments
Sorry about the eminem Yesterday!
I did say Stella messes with you mind tho! Normal service will resume shortly! Honest!

I got up at 5 today! I think I am scared of the idea of going to work! What will people say when they see how skinny I have got! How many new people will be there? How long will I be able to sit in the chair before the pain kicks in?

Well I will let you know when I get back! Wish me luck!

I am thinking some rock!

This is for Camille if she is still reading! Love ya mum!hehe

Right I am back from work and really tired but I did get a taste of what the future will be at work in the future(I only had half day today!)! I am going to have to work hard if I want to achieve anything(doesnt eveyone!) But I have started the ball rolling on a couple of future working from home!yey! and I got some sponserships for the jump on Saturday!(this saturday!) I just hope I dont let you guys down! Then it christmas and the open road to recovery! Just need to sort out my love life now! I am in love but I dont want to mess her up like I did with Sinead!(or she did to me!) Roll on tomorrow! Please do keep requests coming in! I will look for them honest!

is soy sauce a cure?
Have a good day

P.s Weird question from my little sis today..."what would you like for christmas" Well world peace, cure for all disease, No povety in the world ect ect But I would settle for a happy family and to wake up with Jen every day! What more can I ask for! I just want eveyone to be happy I dont care about me!
posted by personallog! @ 6:52 am   2 comments
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Stell Artois is evil evil evil evil.....
I have such a bad head this morning and it all my own fault! I'd forgoten how the french brew is my worst foe just for the hang over! Why oh why do I do it to myself? Its not like I dont have bad days is a bitch but ms with a hangover! It was great to see Ian again(at least 1 out of three got here!) he reminded me of why I like my job and the whole night life with it! There was a moment that I think I saw his determination for the job and I want that back! I want to be back at work and show vigor, show determination and be egar for the pay check again! The french lager has to go tho! I am sure I can do it I want to get my career back! I want the suit and tie guy back! Being part of the rat race as they say!(who's they?) Can I do it? Well best try if I want things to start happening I have to do it for me! I want something for me! Bloody hell! I am so going to do it too! I think the hangover is starting me again! Start from the bottom and WORK your way up Dave! I have to change the music back to dance! The tribal drum of the employed is calling! I can and I will! Even feel like I can do sales again and that going to be a challenge and a half! Bring it on! Just a couple of exams to pass then back to the hard core!

****Eminem: my name is***** Modern day poet? I like it!hehe
And all of this while hung over too! We ms'ers are hardcore arn't we! I hear coffee calling first tho!hehe! A great time find out that your brother and wife are splitting up eh! I knew something bad was going to happen! I think I will give up smoking today! Let the madness continue!

Hope you are all ok!
posted by personallog! @ 1:26 pm   0 comments
Saturday, December 03, 2005
I had a great night last night....and it was with me! Bobby came round for about 2 hours then he left me at 8 oclock! After I had 2 beers in me and I wanted to have I did! Listened to some great tunes and had a laugh watching tv! Ok it the same as every other night but I felt there was someone missing! The human race does do well with SOLITUDE! It only happens once in a while that you enjoy your own company. If I had the option to have someone here all the time or be living on my own I would choose to live with someone! Ok the naked intern3et surfing would have to stop but thats no problem!.....If I could get a woman to naked internet surfing with me that would be cool!lol The webcam is out of the question of course!hehe!

I find my thoughts all over the place today! I love my family and I feel something bad is going to happen and I cant do anything about it!(I am not saying what it is yet but I know it affects more than me!)

Anyway....I have recieved my first chritmas card today(its the 3rd of december!!!!) and I think I need to start looking into getting some from the ms trust and get my ass out to send some next week!lol! Got to join in the fun and togetherness that it brings!(Familly again!) I think I know what the problem is....right music on! Blind melon:Mouth full of cavities(there is no vid for it sorry!) What is it with my choice of music recently everyone's dead!
Erik Smith...dead suicide
Blind melon..lead singer to much coke...dead

Well one more band who's dead and I know it will start to get to me! At least cream are still here!
I am going to have a visit from my queen next week so the flat will be gothed up again!yey!
I have something different for you today! I am looking into poetry...lyrics really. where to start???

Something slower but the lyrics are wierd!hehe Is it poetry or not?

Well the modern day poets might be a good start! Lets try some english(instead of gangster rap!) I like it and its given me some idea's! Hope you enjoy! Right I am going to leave it there as have to get ready for the chess mistress to visit! Get the brain working Dave! I believe I won the last challenge!lol

Hope you are all ok!
posted by personallog! @ 2:53 pm   0 comments
Friday, December 02, 2005
Pissed on a friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOOOOOOOOOHOO!
****Cream:Cross roads****
I now have two cream albums and I am gob smacked! That guy can play! God bless Erik!
If I had my head screwed on I should have found: World of pain!
Out side my window is a tree!hehe

Yeah its a monkey puzzle tree!

have a good weekend!
posted by personallog! @ 9:52 pm   0 comments
Right this disease is doing my head in! Just when I think I am recovering and getting every thing in reminds me that it has some control! How I hear you say...well I have had an hours sleep last night! Thats it! Legs hurting and I had a head ache the really really hurt....migraine what ever!

I think I know what it is, I haven't smoked weed for 3 days, havent drunk beer for 3 days! The ms is no longer stoned and pissed so it hit back! Why is it you only think about sleeping tablets at 02:30 in the morning and your watching the clock? I have an alarm clock that projects the time on to the celing....sort of works light a night light for me...but thats another story. Having the time count down to the time you suppose to get up for work is a nightmare! Get up an watching the news is even more depressing. Congrats the US by the way! 1000 people killed by the law well done!(thats sarcasm by the way!) As if arming another country then waging war on them wasnt enough! Sorry no sleep does that to me! The UK cant talk about that tho! We are giving countries back then teaching them to make there own nuclear weapons! Whats the world coming to! Milions of dollars spent on weapons and not cleaning the planet up! Curing the sick and feeding/clothing the poor would surly be more benifical! Just heard that we are making another nuclear power plant too! We only use 3% renewable power sorce's! OH GAWD! Please see mdmhvonpa's imput below....but if you live in the uk check this site out You might be able to get a grant from Tony Blair for this! Let start with the small thing first eh! He has 750k to spend on it!

I tell you what if the post man doesnt get the christmas presents I ordered for my this morning I am going to really have a go at the next one!

Alice donut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just seemed quite apt! Its for my bro and his wife! (oh please dont listen to hard to the lyrics or you will find out why he is!hehe) Loving Alice Donut too!

I dont think going into work today is a good idea for me! Angry customer service man maybe!

Have a nice day!phumph!Hope you are all well!

P.s I just got of the skpe instant messenger to a ZHU WEN BIN...My japenees isnt very good... His english was amazing! He contacted me because I live in Manchester(United he said!) He wanted to buy a foot ball t-shirt! I was so good to show him a website and I didnt rip his head off either! I think he had the impression I worked for manchester united or something! The thing is I support Newcastle United and I hate Man United with a passion! God so owes me a rest bite! Good Karma at least!lol

If you are not tapping your foot to this
I dont no whats wrong with you! Whir-y-wheel Afro celt!
posted by personallog! @ 8:02 am   4 comments
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Not yet but nearly...
Not at work today either!Still....I feel better than yesterday! It has given me some time to do some surfing(The net!) and listen some tunes too! I think using this time to sort a couple of things out in my head...well if anyone need time to do this its me! I feel better in myself! I just need to get me back to work! I havent been drinking or smoking weed for 2 nights as there has been a reduced amount of pain! I think its a confidence thing! I am not confident that I can walk half a mile to the tram stop so I am going to do excercise today and get ready for friday I think! Do you think I am a dreamer? I do! Roll on the weekend. Got a party planned with bobby and Em! Just have to get some drink in. Then next saturday there will be another try for the jump but looking at the weather recently....I think they will put it off till june!hehe!

Oh I have booked 2 weeks of for my birthday in feb and I received a letter for my nero appointment right in the middle! Do I get them to move the appointment? Well I dont have anything planned just think its right to celebrate my birthday! I will let you know!
Hope you are all well!

Dont worry there is not many more Holiday Quotes but:
23.A Blue Velvet Jacket and a Quiff
24. Rabbits have bullets dont they?
25. No we are the occupants!!
26. Something, something standing up something!
27. A Gaggle of dietricians!
28. Big Man Dave Man(my reply would useually be "what man!")
And my Favorite(drum roll please!!!!)
29. Chickens dont have balls, Cocks have Balls!!!!

*** I am starting to sort my cd collection out into order by band name so you may see some bizar music coming out! At least I am not bored eh! If anyone can find Black hole sun by Sound Garden, please tell me where to find it! thankyou****
posted by personallog! @ 8:37 am   2 comments
ms....not just a diary
About Me

Name: personallog!
Home: St. Annes, Lancashire, United Kingdom
About Me:
I am 6ft 3" skinny and not well. I was diagnosed with ms in 2004 and I would like to speak with others who have ms. I have a want to raise money for ms charities. We have to find a cure for this hell!!!! See my complete profile

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